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November how

November 30,2024

I spent the past two Quito days running errands and soaking up the city. I feel curious, left out and invited in, because most every park and square I wandered into had music striking up or playing and as I was interacting with the people here while catching up with others on the phone, I wondered what was the meaning of this special holiday.  Re: I decided to ask David if there were celebrations and what they were all about, including the fireworks that came the night before and the next.

David responded “No” to my question. There were no special celebrations. The only recent holiday was the upcoming one he had mentioned during our drive (now a weekend past).

Therefore, the band striking up in the first square I often pass through; the gentleman singing and playing a violin behind me in the small plaza, the percussion band testing mics ahead of me in the historic center square and the numerous vendors of food and otherwise are just part of normal days I have been enjoying here. This does not overshadow the struggle that is also experienced in the country. There was also this mix in Colombia, and though not the same, I also think of the dire situations that persist in the U.S.

I am fortunate to be a traveler now, and I am going to attempt to make the most of it. Bouncing between different countries and their cities has been both more challenging and enjoyable than I imagined it would be. This brings to mind moments like balancing work-life and budgeting, but I also think of interpersonal connections that are sometimes bittersweet because either I or other people are traveling elsewhere. Romance is also up and down.

I am fortunate now and also as a former limited traveler to have all the family and friends who have shaped my life and even fortunate for how I have dealt with all my struggling experiences that have shaped my life just the same.

Happy Thanksgiving

November 28, 2024 By Cassandra Johnson

I am going to write more once I get a new charger for my laptop (right now, I am composing some loose thoughts on my phone notepad). I must say, it is easy to take some circumstances for granted like having a full keyboard..😃

Today, I walked from my new Quito hostel to the Internet Cafe to do some Internet surfing and possibly the side hustle I sometimes do when I’m not translating. Teaching English.

I had spotted this Internet cafe the first day I checked in here and thought it would be a good alternative to work from instead of my phone. At that time, the owner/storekeeper responded to me: Just 0.70 USD an hour. Well, I added the “just” and translated the conversation to English here.

The first hostel I had here in Quito was not far from this one, so a lot already looked familiar from the 2nd day I arrived in Ecuador on the 23rd, and it was easy to find myself back in some part of the historic center, once I finished “working” at the Internet cafe. I was tapped out, missing my own computer, and prepared to go to one of the many panaderías to get some economical baked goods for this particular breakfast or lunch.

The stop there was a nice paragraph to the day however, along with the surprise deal at the cafe the night before, meeting and catching up with other travelers, in a way, all after the not-too-long trip to get here, arriving around dusk from the bus terminal after about a 45 mini taxi ride with the driver, David, that I befriended on the way.

Ar the cafe, a professor (he told me his occupation) first came in to sit next to me, bringing up his file with the help of the owner and they went through some effort to properly print his document. They were so casual, familiar-like and kind.

The professor wished me a good day, almost forgetting to close out his files. The owner reminded him teasingly that it would not be his fault… Not too much earlier, he also advised me to watch my backpack, which though it was in the seat with me, being behind me, he had a very good point.

I set it down in front, beneath me, under the chair.

My second day back in Ecuador, I realized I could really get used to this place.

I visited Guayaquil, Ecuador for a few days in 2019, so I feel like I have a lot more to see. This time I am starting in Quito after getting off the bus from Tulcan, the Ecuadorian city that borders the Colombian city of Ipiales (I decided to spend one day and night) in Ipiales. I will write more about my experience in Ipiales later). By this point, I had taken two other buses from Medellin to Bogota and Bogota to Cali.

My time in the latter cities was quite abbreviated considering the approximate 2 and 1/2 months I had stayed in Medellin. Primarily, I just really enjoy Medellin, Colombia. Additionally, I was not really feeling the idea of spending my income on a flight plus baggage at the moment. I recalled my bus trips in Peru and Bolivia in 2010 and 2011 and thought this could be something I could reprise again. I was right.

When I flew to different cities in Mexico most recently and back to the US, the costs just felt like so much, too much, compared to what I was accustomed. It is nice to catch a break that I can use towards mixing up my stays between hostels, hotels and AirBnBs…

more to come, more on my stays, more to share

more on appreciating your time with me.

Thank you😉

Medellin, Colombia

October 31. 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

Medellin has been my safe space. My stay in this city has turned out to be longer than I thought before I move on to the cities of Bogota and Cartagena.

Medellin, Colombia came after I once again left my bae, Peru, so I am pleased that visiting here has reiterated my more uplifting travel experiences. Peru was etched nicely in my past and remains in my future dreams while Colombia was on the horizon to be brand new. New surroundings, very friendly people, and my variety of experiences fortify my decision to continue working as a digital nomad, for now.

Medellin particularly facilitates a calmness that is better for my nervous system. It is coincidentally telling that several of the people here have encouraged me to remain calm. Just in passing and not out of extreme gravity, they say “Tranquila” and encourage me to keep embracing the natural parts of me that remain as my optimistic and free-spirited desires. Simultaneously, I am at ease and then in other instances, it is nice to have the reminders and not be too overly preoccupied with being mistaken or perceived incorrectly. I was probably taken to task in too many instances before I left the country, which is enough to concern me despite my best efforts.

I was not expecting both my differences and similarities to be so welcomed and to fit so well into a place I have never been. I enjoy being complimented for who I am. I like being appreciated for knowing Spanish and I like that it is okay not to know, as well.

Sadly, with my roots, I have to admit, I am not accustomed to going for an extended period of time without being othered. I am not used to getting to leave that feeling behind as I can at this moment, and I readily feel the potential discomfort when I reenter the United States. As much as I care as well as enjoy my birthplace and home and hold it in affinity, there is some need for self-protection there.

Another gift: Medellin allows me the opportunity to further shape my work-life balance, looking back on how I thoroughly enjoyed Merida, Mexico and San Juan, Puerto Rico, but got it sorely wrong in both places.

So Medellin has left me feeling some type of continued good way, a way that is more kindred and comfortable the majority of the time. The travel difference now, (former volunteer versus current worker) has proved a gentler reinitiation thanks to the people that reside here, their culture and the setting.

I admittedly did not know how I would adjust to life on the road/in the sky as a full-time instead of part-time wanderer, so thank you, Medellin for being a bridge along the way back to San Juan to Merida to Guadalajara to Oaxaca to Lima to Cusco to you and beyond.

Solo Together

October 29, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

I have learned not to give too much to my introversion as I do also love community. I have also learned to recognize my solo needs, to be better to myself.

I do enjoy bonding when I am not feeling inexplicably self-conscious. Alternately, I also acknowledge my resilience to regroup and revitalize myself.

What has been most interesting to me lately, however, is how I have come to notice similar solo needs in a number of other people. The number is larger than I would have expected, and realizing this has made me more empathetic, so apart from hanging out with them, dancing with them, chatting with them, drinking with them (some flirting)… I have felt another type of connection.

By collecting my thoughts and tranquility when I am alone, I remind myself of what I really want and need, and I remind myself of the fact that I need to try much more of this out before I can be certain if what I need or want still stands. Minds may change. Therefore, I need that alone time, good for such thinking and also for clearing my mind (not overthinking and just being still).

Sometimes I need more of the quietness than others, but I have recently taken note that I am not so alone in this. Ironically, in the simile of needing those inward moments, I suspect other people may need this too.  After almost a year of countless accommodations and interactions as a digital nomad, I do not think I have just coincidentally been vicinity booking along with a large number of other introverts. I do not think so, because in other instances, I notice what seems real extroversion on the part of a number of outgoing people who naturally seem to receive energy from interacting with others. Yet, I have caught them “escaping” too. I have caught them escaping the noise, whether it be very literal or figurative. I have caught them in a variety of ways in their own quests for solitude.

Adalia Aborisade’s video on how to travel as an Introvert really spoke to me and what we may do or feel from going inward. Me being someone who also likes hanging out, seeing the world and meeting people, she and the other viewers reiterated for me that sometimes we get away from who we truly are because our true selves are not accepted or expected, especially when we are out there exploring our overall dreams. It is not uncommon to be told you need to participate in the group at all times. They also reminded me it is not uncommon to be misinterpreted and cajoled. I think I just judged myself too strictly thinking I could no longer carry the introverted label, when a part of this actually seems to be welcomed by most people to varying levels. I am also reclaiming some of my shyness, though it may appear differently now. My nature has not changed at the core.

I see people looking for their solo spaces and moments as I especially spend my traveling time between hotels and hostels. People were looking for moments and spaces on the terrace, in the kitchen, in an extra room, in their own room or a shared room in their bunk bed while others were out touring or in other parts of the hostel or hotel. People were even randomly hoping for a moment at breakfast or in front of a large screen community television.

Someone reading. Someone gazing and thinking (seemingly daydreaming) while reclining. Someone listening, laughing  to videos on their phone. Someone delving into work on their computer, but as they would in their own private office with no boss.

I see the people. I see us. Moments apart and common bonds in solitude. These are the moments we recollect ourselves, maybe even forget the pending issues or worries of our days, maybe even finally come up with a solution after we have had some time to relax away from what has to be done or decided.

Perhaps, this is just a much needed mental break or another moment to help us be honest with ourselves and to be ourselves.

My Quiet Freedom

September 30, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

It was Sunday and things seemed quieter in the main areas of Medellin and especially where I am staying. However, this was really just building up to unexpected activity, which I seem to think is more so the normal atmosphere on Sunday, just depending on what social spots you visit besides the contrast of places closing early or not being open at all.

This particular day, yesterday, reiterated what I like about traveling in Latin America and traveling overall. It was a day where there was still a lot to see and many gastronomical options like cafes and restaurants open. I noticed this as I walked more, and I noticed a lot of people were spending their day in Parques del Rios in Medellin. I imagine there were many families and friends also concentrated in other similar recreational spaces. This was me deciding to make my way back to Parques del Rios for the second time though it was a considerable distance from my accommodation. Maybe next time, I will take the metro for part of the way. Most likely, I will not. I enjoy getting there this way, feeling like some exercise and seeing the various performers at the intersections. I had similarly challenged myself, recently, to find a special library in Medellin as well, and getting there and focusing in on my work and thoughts was worth the trek. (Biblioteca Publica Piloto)

My walk to Parques del Rios was on my way to the San Diego neighborhood of Medellin. Later, I was able to explore and end my day picking up some fruit and juice on my way back to ultimately connecting with other hostel guests I had not met earlier and especially one, yet to arrive.

Sunday was peaceful yet vibrant. I ran into a Capoeira group and many families and their pets taking advantage of the warmth in the park, along with vendors and other musical performers there. I watched part of a live concert in the San Diego mall which was super busy as opposed to the smaller ones that shut down earlier.

In the end, I was impressed by my muscle memory finding my way back in the dark and the rain, with a Colombian woman even inquiring If I could give her directions. I apologized to her in Spanish stating I only knew some places and thought momentarily I could be of some help. She smiled and was very gracious.

I recalled meeting a Colombian guy on the way there who was randomly curious where I was going and who asked for my number. I have no plans on dating (I am kind of potentially hopeful and have my heart set on one person) but I feel like I am meeting a lot of like-minded local and traveling friends. I also laughed to myself that once he got my info, I conveniently pretended not to understand the “espere” “wait for me” he stated, because that did not really make sense for me to do so and did not really speak to my security or desires. I am leaning into my instincts and whims and enjoy when they kick in on any level.

Between Time

September 29/30, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

My post was initially going to begin about money lessons learned, after spending quite a sum in Peru. However, I enjoyed the freedom it brought me, and I also realized that what I was beginning to write was a thinly veiled manner of beating myself up. So I have to find the healthy medium between blaming the powers that be, blaming myself and realizing there is a whole lot I have to contend with, being a freelancer, just as there were many other things I had to deal with being an employee. I note how I have worked really hard in both circumstances, so the lamenting may come but I cannot allow for it to stay.

First of all, I am willing to keep up the work. Mini breaks and this more chiller way of life is helpful. I just need to lean into the tweaks. So I have pretty soberly come face to face with the idea of adding to my workload as a means to eventually not having such a big workload. but wait, hear me out, as I want to pay off every bill, hold on to my investments, trade and just have my current freelancing and side hustles as extra cash that are not needed. I am looking for a low-maintenance completely remote job to meet my goal and, hear me out, for all those reasons above.

Added bonus: I am starting from a place of still hoping to continue my traveling dreams. 😊 So the search is notably hitting different. I feel like such a job will be a bonus to an already palpable life, much less like the times I applied within my country, (though these will be US employers) . . . much less like the times of feeling I needed to make my bones and eventually giving into my way of attempting to meet the expectations of the people and the work environment, which can be fruitless with some managerial situations as I learned more than a few times. I would get to my tasks after so many others and if we put ourselves last along with others putting themselves last is an inevitably deteriorating combination.

So easy to lose a balance.

I also noted an inherent issue with my freelancing relationship in which allotting time towards work cuts into time I can make money easier and quicker in other ways, since a lot of time is then used chasing payments. Also noted: I could be learning on working on managing my freelancing contracts better. Advice welcome here.

So far, I have revisited one of my favorite sites, Idealist.org along with a ton of others which is quite daunting but encouraging, depending on how inspired or discouraged I am at the particular moment. 😊

Being Digital. Being Nomad.

August 31, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

The ups and downs. I think my sanity has been saved by no longer having to report to my second to last boss. I realized part of the struggle was not just proving myself to her, but increasingly more apparent, proving myself to me.

I realized, after several years, at a few different jobs, that attaining 100% on a performance review was designed to never be attainable. The deeper problem with such a scenario is how many people can either get buried while unsuccessfully trying to get there or ultimately just feel defeated. I am sure there is a healthier way to look at this as well as a healthier work environment where this is not a thing. Unfortunately, the luck of us landing in a healthy environment with good management may not be as attainable as matching our geography with our skills and who decides to hire us for the right amount of money? Also, will that end up matching our passions?

My second to last boss was daunting, and perhaps me having more credentials than her played a part in her reminding me/reminding us that she was on some imaginary upper level rather than our equal level. Then… she increasingly toyed with and finally crossed the lines of bigotry from the time I worked for her from 2015 through 2019, and even after I changed departments in my final year at the company in 2020, I felt the target on me. In the moments I instinctively countered her, I awaited the revenge *whether it be from the COO we both reported to or from her directly.

The fight I had in me to remember my credentials and all the praise I got from the members and customers we helped was really a fight to remember that I was good enough and not always just as good as the last thing I did. Some good coworkers also really encouraged me through those days. We found it mutually necessary.

There was a struggle to remember all the hard work I put in as well, because as usual, sometimes life gets in the way  (we do not just have work to contend with but a whole array of items we need to survive and be a happy healthy person). Life plays out differently at different times. Look at any one of us and each person’s insecurities and vulnerabilities present uniquely and again vary depending on the moment.

So there I was with her and that structure and here I am without it. Being digital and being nomad has saved me from aging ungracefully (lol) and I have likewise been saved from feeling indescribably perpetually less than her or others.  I also see myself as more capable than I knew. I forget. Life reminds me. I see how okay we should be at owning our accomplishments.

Thinking of the boss even back then, I found it better not to carry a grudge, because I noticed that anger blinded me more than acknowledging the concurring sadness and hurt I felt at being disregarded and dejected. It is easier and more stereotypical to be deemed an angry person (that made it somehow easier for her to double down) than it was to give me the raw despondent feelings of being human and heartbroken at poor treatment.

I remember a guy once ghosting me and reappearing to the tune of a text and email that simply stated: “How mad are you at me?” Within those moments, I realized it was easier for him to face an angry caricature of me than the true person he had disappointed. “…mad…?” How about “How sad and/or disappointed are you?”

There seems to be a lot more I know about myself. There also seems to be so much more I could uncover. Being nomadic, I am possibly learning more about all of life than I ever thought I would.

Community Continues

August 30, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

I have a better definition of my criteria for moving abroad (which by the way, I am finishing this post from a point of recovering from an illness so it may not be so thorough).

This is more of my recent thoughts combined with  previous rough drafts plus remnants of wild dreams while I slept and recovered.

My more considerate definition for moving abroad seemed to be taken shape before I came back to Cusco. I guess I should have known that after about 3 months revisiting and living in Lima, I, of course was getting more accustomed to that city lifestyle.

Primarily, my heart did fall heavily for Cusco as it my second time here. On the other hand, I completely underestimated that how I once dealt with the extreme altitude about 11 plus years ago was completely different than how I have been dealing with it now.

I chose an AirBnB that seemed rather safe and nice but got my wind immediately taken away when I attempted to take my first walk around the steeply inclined neighborhood. Since,  I was not in the main square and not in a more tourist-like area, I felt the much more steep drop offs from the surrounding sidewalks were seemingly created out of function, more convenience that rather called for us walkers to make the necessary adjustments. I noticed some people seem to have quite a rhythm to it. I also noticed others breathing heavily, especially those who shared the aparthotel like building where we must have all been renting the AirBnB space. I suddenly wondered how long 10 days in this particular area would seem. Fast or not soon enough. This was not the dream apartment (Air BnB) I rented in the Surquillo neighborhood in Lima for one of those 3 months. It also was not that among the convenience of the Lima hostels.

On the upside, I do think this was a good beginning for Cusco, so that once I checked into a hostel (okay, 2 days earlier), I was incredibly grateful. I was grateful for the very hot water the AirBnB did not have plus breakfast and other amenities that were a given. I could literally be warm and have community. 😊

Community is really what I have been getting to here as I have made this journey. I realized that the major part of my criteria has not only been about becoming more in tune with my material likes but also appreciating the connections I make and the connections I have already had for so long. I more readily see how I underestimated how much easier it was to navigate abroad while spending time with other people volunteering.

Sure, I needed my moments of solitude, but I simultaneously must have taken the built-in camaraderie for granted. For as long as my volunteer time in South America the first time around and for as short as my half week volunteering in San Juan, there were people to connect with. Going back and revisiting those places has shown me how natural it became to find a couple or 10 people here or there to spend a lot of extra time with shooting the breeze, eating out, sharing stories and listening.

I have enjoyed connecting with people here in between just working as a digital nomad. I just want to admit to myself how less fluid I have been. It is especially less fluid for me when staying solo in rentals. I have to put in more research, more time on the next move I make. Notably, the goal gets even easier when sharing a hostel and though not the same, I now can see even more why having the expat and traveling groups online is helpful during and prior to travels.

What I have done can be done successfully. I know people who do. It seems just getting so sick and reflecting on some rough patches had me realizing how much I appreciate the community I have already had and the people I have been able to meet during my progress now.

So as I come to focus on how much I value community overall, I know it includes the one I have had for so many years including my family and friends back home and whoever I may add this way. I am thankful for the peace and support that goes with my brothers and family as well as the friends I have enjoyed while I was in DC and Ohio. I am thankful for the people who genuinely enter my circle too.

An additional plus, I must note, is that being more travel ready has helped me see some friends and family more often but overall, there is a tinge in my heart in which I continuously wish they were all no more than just 10 minutes away. Still learning.

The Grass Being Green

July 30, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

Simply Green. We could spend a lifetime imagining that the way someone else is doing their life is better than ours or just imagining this person is so lucky and blessed to be with this partner or to have so much of some material items. Of course, the coveted life we imagine is infinitely amazing, because we cannot really feel what they are living. What are they actually going through and what are they longing for? 

What I Want to Share: As I am having more gratitude for different layers to my life like the ability to travel while working, I am reminding myself not to think about not making as much money as before. I can make enough money and more depending on my translation work and side hustles.

I can be grateful that I have close friends and family who support my ideas and support my decisions while I can remind myself not to be hard on myself for the negative judgments aimed at me from some others. I can remind myself to remain as accepting as I am of all people, despite being sometimes rejected.

I can be happy with my achievements while I can remind myself that I am learning what I need to learn when life ultimately reveals my lessons to me. I can remind myself not to feel discouraged about not getting to this part of my path as soon as I think I would have liked. I can be pleased to be in the spaces especially forged for me.

78 Dance Partners

July 29, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

I was looking for live music. I was looking for DJs. I was looking for the occasional cocktail but mostly I was panning out for camaraderie and a chance to continue dancing.  Another part of the life plan decided: Dancing will continue to be my natural high, my ready escape and relaxed synchronicity between my mind, attitude and body.

Navigating my way back through Peru tells me what I need for a healthy life, or I guess, rather for a considerably healthier life. As noted here, I have reintroduced one element which comes through dancing. I really got to feel into this during college. Sometimes, I forget because of circumstances. I was last in DC before starting to travel again and there were times when everything added up: Right places, right music, right price and willing friends.

The combination was not as easy as it had been during university which seemed readily conducive to more divey bars/clubs and or upscale-like venues and dancing events. Still, there was definitely a time, in the middle of my DC life when a group of us were frequenting one neighborhood or another like U Street or Dupont Circle. I was in my element. Later on unfortunately, this was not so much. I could understand why. A lot of schedules, logistics and motivation (in which others additionally feel self-conscious while dancing) were present.

Then, coinciding with my first trip to Pisco, Peru, I unexpectedly found myself in the company of many people locally and from various countries who I would accompany to discos and bars on nights and weekends. Music and dance also permeated our volunteer home/headquarters.

As I started my third time back in Peru, I was not so sure about getting to enjoy music and connect with people. This time, I had picked up travel again in San Juan and then spent some time in Mexico. Notably, Puerto Rico was very satiating since there is a big dance scene, but I did not get this immediate fulfillment when I moved on to Merida, Mexico (though I love this place). Coincidentally, I had not danced much in Mexico, my time more so playing out with friends in places without ideal dance floors or music. (I like a variety but hanging out plus dancing was not coming to me).

Then, these last two weeks happened, and it was a mirror of my co-volunteer time back in Pisco and Cusco, but this time as a digital nomad trying out a much different lifestyle. Splitting my time between hostels, hotels and Airbnb apartments in various Peruvian neighborhoods played a good part. Getting time to regroup and switch up neighborhoods and go back to community in hostels helped me connect with more travelers and residents.

Having a bar upstairs in a hostel is particularly helpful. I met a few people from Peru along with a Colombian doctor. Though I have connected with various people while walking around and hanging out, considerable time would pass without me finding people who in addition to the fun treks and sight-seeing, also wanted to relax with music and dancing. This second to last hostel was one answer. Some people naturally have a way of making me feel at home: In addition to these four local people, I clicked with an Italian traveler and her friends, leading us to another ideal club, where we could dance with each other and others from Peru. The scene reminded me that I had also connected with an American guy and Venezuelan expats similarly, about a month prior to this.

Once I started college and imitated the dance moves I saw in pop culture and improvised with my own, I recalled how I had likewise done so in my childhood. During those previously shy phases, I would simply dance alone in my room, in our basement or when I was home alone.

There seems to be some added meditative element. There also seems to be a release like a sigh of relief and joy complementing the expression. My dancing inhibitions also come and go. I can very much understand motivation being based on mood and other elements. My wavering confidence has the potential to reappear.

What strikes me now is appreciation for my recent dance partners. There is also cause to appreciate all the partners that came before whether we were in a club, home, dorm room, restaurant, open space outside, etc. I am more pleased now to think back over a lifetime of so many meeting of the minds under good beats, soothing rhythms, shared smiles and connections in a multitude of glances.