I was sad to leave Cusco but a big part of me was ready. The volunteer work I did during the weekdays there was so different from the work we did in Pisco, so I had some affirmation that I was drawn to the right place when I did my first volunteer work abroad and signed up to do reconstruction work in Pisco, Peru. (I felt I could have stayed for even longer).
Reconstruction work was so different from my office job at the time. The work was different for a lot of us, and we wanted it that way. The work was also something people would not expect or recall I had signed up to do. Some people still forget. They think of gigs like teaching English and though I have been involved in ESL, there is something more innate in me when I look at natural disaster recovery. Still yanking at me is the empowerment of both the workers and those who have been struggling to overcome what is so seemingly daunting.
Perhaps because of some struggles I have had in my also knowingly privileged life in the US, I wonder about all the work people can do if they have a chance not to have to worry about meeting their basic needs and furthermore what can happen when they participate in the transition.
After work in Cusco and a lot of play and exploration of historic and beautiful surroundings, I was almost ready to come back to D.C. Almost.
Discouragement is part of the territory. Sometimes pain is self-inflicted. Sometimes we consider ourselves not to be reaching enough of our goals fast enough.
There was an incredibly simple song I enjoyed in primary school. Beginning with “little by little”*, there was such a polite nudge and a naturally successful logic to the ending of “little by lot”
I have been known to overwork in some fashions, obsessively moving towards some ends. However, I have become wiser in avoiding so much additional strain. The bruises have their own lessons.
Life’s leaps have not been exactly what I would imagine them to be, but I am fortunate to have the freedom to test my limits.
Work has been my latest attempt but getting to work for myself took considerable courage and I need some more. Nothing is certain.
Imagining exactly what something is like before you try is not expected. Personally, going away to college was one thing. Moving to a city where I did not know anyone was another.
Liberation and fears are included with your steps forward. You get discouraged some days and on other days you see your dreams as plausible.
Experiences up or down can hopefully change us for the better. My stress and pains have prepared me a little more. Discouragement can also have a way of giving us more to consider. Can we get past our believed and true obstacles? Success is the reminder.
Traveling alone to another country was better than I could have ever invented in my head. The trips like the leaps sometimes feel so natural. I have had these nudges to continue going where my goals are shifting and the what-ifs torment me way more than what seems impossible.
Figuring out our own puzzles is reaffirming as well as just giving ourselves the chance to try.
I finally got the chance to visit my family again since lockdown. The visit was much needed. I first talked about the gift of getting to see them here. You May Go Home Again.
Now I just need to get there more often.
I need to get there as often as I plan to travel abroad again. Navigating this new world is tricky. I was at first uneasy about flying for the first time since the pandemic, but the airline and airport was pretty organized. It would be nice if we had reached a definitive goal in which we could all be sure or almost certain that we could not get ill, but uncertainty has lingered with us for what seems longer than 2 years. 2020 remains surreal to me. Life still feels adjacent because I think we may have also thought there would be a clear point when we could go without certain precautions, when cases would be mild. I imagine there could be a day when we see this but now the picture looks a lot more like adjusting to the new normal.
Being able to do more cautiously has been comforting. Knowing there is a lot to get through is daunting. Maybe life is not knowing exactly what we need to do next yet and figuring out our most responsible alternatives as we go.
Connection is needed and I am glad I got to do some more this past month. A variety of connection is needed, and better answers are welcome. We can be assured and admit what we do not always know. So I personally imagine I will keep making new decisions as I go. The path may not always be clear. The destination still calls us there.
I think I have determined for me and some others, we may crave more variety than we know, hence the empty feeling of falling into a rut. What we may need is challenging work, a type of routine, dependability, spontaneity, vacation, and rest in different amounts depending on what drives us. Too much of one at any time has left us stuck, I am seeing.
We may crave variety more than we know while we also need stability. The wistful feeling of falling into some monotony while establishing a reliable routine became more apparent to me recently as routines became incredibly routine. I did not mind doing what was needed but I began to see how we all have to really take care of ourselves and have the proper outlets, entertainment, and recuperation.
In the natural flow of life, I found I seek comforts but also want to be challenged. I want to be pleasantly surprised, feeling safe with some place where I can continue to take risks.
Just when there has been enough rest and vacation, I actually find it nice to have the challenge of fulfilling work where I am accomplishing something.
Just when feeling like work is relentless and not wanting to deal with any stress that comes with communicating work politics and meeting proper deadlines, a nice getaway filled with idyllic scenery is a great touch or a staycation is a nice reset.
Within the layers, we can revel in a night out with friends dancing and laughing or a quiet walk outside with just a headset in tow. Working from a different part of my home office or mixing remote work with office work when I was still at my last company, I began to look forward to both and the change in scenery. Inserting some variety helped me appreciate the options. Distinguishing between what I prefer and what I do not like, which could also change, fit my big picture.
A healthy emotional state can be hard to maintain and should not be expected. We remember being “only human” and “there is no such thing as perfection” but those sentiments still seem rejected, striving in ways that sometimes are not perfectly attainable and forgetting some significant wins.
We still have a lot of possibilities for what life may bring and I would like to find my way by mixing it up. Variety, it’s true, is the spice of life*. Even in our interests, we should consider uncovering as much as we can.
I am pleased with the influx of work which has been coming my way because now I can better figure out my independent work style.
Since I was so used to going the extra mile for employers and organizations, any time away was just a sign for rest though I had started to dabble into my side hustle in 2018. I was convinced I could be quite successful, if I did it full time and put in just half the effort I put into colleagues and managers, and their customers. However, there is something coupled with working for yourself (at least this something accompanied me). Although I was and have been very motivated, I had some challenges distinguishing among the need for recuperation and going all in on productivity. The other interesting issue was being willing to market myself as well as I marketed someone else’s mission statement.
Conditioning is challenging to dismiss. and I was simply used to working on other people’s behalf for years. Some good comes with that. Everything I did before has helped prepare me for dealing with life now but there is also a downside if you lean towards people pleasing in any sort of way. You have to know for yourself how past habits and the focus on pleasing others can overshadow your own goals.
People in work environments can even take advantage of your disposition though I learned some time ago, this is a sign of a poor structure. The look of this may mean being showered with praise without any true additional compensation or no praise so workers are constantly doing more to prove their worthiness.
The resolution is knowing how good we are and realizing the significance we bring and even if we are not as wondrous as the next person or reached our highest level yet, we can become better (and yes, more accomplished than others), without turning the negativity into bad reactions and unhealthy efforts.
The resolution for me was putting myself into the situation of not being privy to the conditioning environment. No need to be so drastic but this rearrangement causes me to mainly hold myself accountable and get down to the core of my skills. I am faced with my own market value because quality and efficiency are a direct reflection on how well my business grows and how much I take care of myself and the clients I want to serve better. This is my catalyst to attempting to do well and pick myself up from my mistakes.
I am pleased I am getting there and get to do work which helps people. I am pleased and a lot less nervous.😊
Waking up in Cusco. Waking up in Guayaquil. Waking up in San Juan. Really, I do not mind waking up in my current home in the US, but there is definitely a pull towards the places I have been and especially resided in for a while.
I have enjoyed DC for the time I have been living here, and I miss my home state and family as well. What I also plan for is living, playing and working between all of the above. I am excited to finally get to travel in the coming month. Let’s hope.
Hopefully we will all be able to move about as safely as possible.
I moved to this new home base about 15 years ago but did not know if I would stay here permanently, Initially my love was more than likely for the idea of moving to another big city apart from the one I lived in during college. I guess I should use the term district rather than city although eventual statehood is the aim.
I knew living here would be another interesting experience for me with a different variety of opportunities. This would be living as that everyday adult who did not have to worry about finals anymore😊
I compared what was to come via my love of reading (and campus life) before I had stocked up on so many of life’s up and downs. I fully looked forward to what was to come but braced myself for some difficulties as well. They did come, but through my efforts, I know I am fortunate to have met and spent time with all the people who have happened across my life. I count myself as lucky that I know people from different parts of this world. When I was a little girl, I imagined traveling but did not know how much a reality this could be for me.
Expecting to continue, I am a lot less the pessimistic optimist I used to be in which I was full of hope but careful to brace myself. Naturally, we do not want to be vulnerable, and life is far from perfect. Many times I was surprised when some goals were completed. Then I realized I was surprised at my surprise because I did not realize I had also been prepping all along for some milestones not to be reached. I have become better. I am realistic but I am still hopeful and now a little braver about going for what I want.
I will still need to adjust to a lot. I am still just getting acclimated to working for just meand mindset is interesting when you have gotten so used to working for other people. Though I am a fairly disciplined person, the deadlines are what helps the most in my now location independent workdays. They are needed.
So there is one question I still consider. Since I have only explored this somewhat, I wonder how good I will be at navigating working while traveling, especially with my old habits of working too much. I am inspired by so many of you. Typically, I am wondering what work I should be getting done next.
Then again, perhaps this is more the old me relating to the demands of someone else’s company, their clients or customers and performance reviews. Sure, there were likeable elements, but no denying how non-workdays are looked forward to by many employers and employees for a reason.
Currently, I still have pressure but a notably different push when completing assignments for an individual client or agency as I am doing now.
Well, there is no rush to figure everything out all at once. Just getting back out on my first trip after a long hiatus has me excited. I won’t be working. No hurry to get it right on this first time out. Just in a hurry to see my family again.
A nice spin on getting to spend time with a good friend is getting to do the same in paradise. 2019. Enter Puerto Rico.
I was post volunteering (doing some sightseeing here and there and taking in the suggestions for all the local events which happen to be taking place). A beach being just up the road did not hurt matters nor did Old San Juan being about 10-minutes away by bus or Uber.
My friend and I had talked about how fun it would be if we finally had the chance to travel together. As we usually had a collection of getaway stories to share, we pondered how fun it could be if we had those stories in common.
Planning out our schedule for what was some good timing, we carved out one overlapping day and for this span of the time, we went to the beach, went to some tourist spots, dined on some nice cuisine, and later realized how we may not have even had the time.
We were appreciating how the plan came together despite the time winding down. We could relax, even having the time to shoot the breeze over dinner with other travelers, share music at a local bar, and be a part of the nightlife.
Decadent dessert was also good for my enthusiasm 😊 and this was all in good time before my 2ish am flight. I would see him again back on home turf.
Connecting and hanging out with new people abroad is one highlight. Then there is this other magic of passing the time with local friends on an excursion and fortunately for us, the island gifted us both its excitement and serenity..
Getting to see each other was a nice bonus to each of our itineraries. Remember the company you keep. Leave room for the relaxing escapes and for the very real connections.
Growing up, you one day hear when someone says or implies “life is not easy”. You believe it. The song also says, “no one ever promised you a rose garden”.
Yet, when it’s good, it’s really good. You know this to be true on some big scale perhaps or in simple moments just as a small child starts out being comforted by the time simply spent with him or her. They are in awe at the magic tricks adults seem to perform in their presence with toys or a simple game of peak-a- boo.
Viñales, Cuba
One day you get it. You could be anywhere with a certain person, and you could be having the best time and technically not doing anything. You know the people, including yourself, are making life more interesting. In our way we are causing what is seemingly nothing to mean something. Adversely, a dazzling venue or event can lack so much luster when you are not clicking with anyone in the room.
You know all of this to be true when you could be sitting outside just about anywhere, having a refreshing drink, eating ice cream, or getting caught up in a conversation and maybe even forgetting to eat. Next thing, you and your present company realize the two or more of you have gotten hungry. Next, you end up just about anywhere, in a place that is perhaps too overpriced (no matter) or a unique hole in the wall which you could have never preplanned.
These are the relationships I lean into at home and mirror in my connections abroad.
This especially speaks to my time with other travel volunteers and tourists. One random traveler meets another (that’s me) and there’s the combination of simultaneously experiencing new people and new places in what is sometimes quite the random life. Even the mundane moments play out differently.
I recall leaving Arequipa to get to Cusco. Before starting my second South American volunteer selection, I decided to go to Sacred Valley and Machu Picchu. (I would end up sightseeing with other volunteers later as well between enjoying the nightlife and everyday life, but I wouldn’t know that yet.)
The random circle gets a little wider when traveling with a friend. As a collective I’ve also made some interesting connections.
The circle grows and you find yourself having dinner with another person from Europe, North America, South America etc. who was probably just a stranger 3 hours ago and the odds go up exponentially when you more so go the hostel or local homestay route.
There is always something to do but being around your crowd of family or friends or just one other confidante, we know there does not necessarily have to be anything to do at all.
Soccer reminds me when I was green with inexperience and my efforts to absorb as much as possible, as quickly as possible.
I was a little late to the idea of playing sports in the name of school spirit and soon realized the tryouts were more so a reunion for everyone who had been playing on the local area club teams. Even players who didn’t know each other leaned into the familiarity of their similar past experiences. Their reaction to the others: Sizing us up (good and/or bad) and keeping a log accordingly. Perhaps this is how a lot of life’s premiere meetings go.
Thank goodness for the maturity we can eventually give each other and ourselves to grown, though knowingly, the room for growth is not always promised. There are some lessons.
Before adding soccer, my interests were elsewhere and varied across the map. My drive towards them was also perhaps somewhat to the point of obsession. (In a lot of respects, I am still this way.)
Soccer was simply not to be my focus yet. Even falling out of the loop in my recent years) I note how once I decided to go out for the junior varsity team at 14…
…well let’s just say (as they say), some things, simply become etched in your heart for the duration.
How did my obsessions (or maybe intense focus is a better description) play out in my formative years? I think certain focus is needed in a time where we’re feeling both accepted and unaccepted, dealing with both the pressures of figuring out who we are and who we want to become while in some cases being lauded and in other cases being hurt. School can that fun challenging place. What makes us become who we are? We soon see.
My focus included losing myself in classical music practice and concerts (which lasted from 5th grade into college), falling in love with the globe very early on and what it would mean to travel and how I adored meeting and learning about the guys and girls who would venture to our high school from abroad.
Going from a smallish city to a massive college (Ohio State) meant I got to befriend and meet countless people from practically everywhere.
Learning to speak Spanish and all the activities this entailed, such as being Spanish club Secretary also called in a lot of my attention. More of my interests did not really seem to match my personality, yet we are all dynamic creatures, even if we too sometimes find it less demanding to fit ourselves into the box.
I cannot include all the quirks and day to day activities nor all my hobbies in which I found myself drawn but I write all this to share another realization of how capable we are of so much variety in our lives. Our skills complement our efforts, and a good deal of our work can be psychological. The mindset we emulate for early ventures and what we decide we can do from both reinforcement and determination tug us forward or limit our trajectory. I was reminded of the naiveté I had when I first stepped onto the soccer field. Yet I was determined. Being a library nerd (ahem, it is not a bad thing), I checked out books for drills and Pelé’s autobiography. I was determined soccer wise but I would only make it so far. It was a hell of a way so I cannot look back on those moments feeling dejected. Disappointments intermingle themselves around our victories.
Sounds not quite the romantic underdog story but I remember the surprise when I did score on the seasoned players and how I became better despite the late start. The realization I could be a part of something for which I held a passion still leans into the dedication and willingness I can dare to embrace with a little or a lot of fallibility, whatever the case may be.
Thank you for taking the time to share in part of my at times cliché but needed journey. Until next time. 😊
Getting the opportunity to help people learn English on Cambly has played a part in reviving my travel volunteer and work goals. I think they had partially been repressed by the necessary hiatus we had to take.Travel adventures seem possible again.
I am psyched how much closer we are getting to recounting memories in the places we have been and yet capturing new moments and people in our circles.
I am excited for the sensory overload and promises in the times we get to create and try new things. What a joy to try reliving everything that makes us laugh and relax the days away.
I am preparing to step up to the issues that don’t seem to go away, knowing I do not have to deal with them without the comforts I now require for my every day.
If you are interested in more information about Cambly, I have included their info on our Community page. It is ideal for the nomadic and/or traveling life or just meeting and helping more people.
