I went on to Guadalajara instead of Oaxaca first and now I can’t tell if I am seeing Guadalajara through the opposite of rose-colored glasses because I had so many immediate visions of what it would be like to be in Oaxaca seeing as it has been described as such a mecca of brilliant cuisine and artistry. There was this in addition to seeing the reminiscent expressions or longing looks on people’s faces when I mentioned I wanted to go there after Merida. Oaxaca will be third now. I think.
I am interested in Guadalajara as well, but I am not as in touch with what I might like to explore. I have some general ideas. Nothing written in stone. I just arrived yesterday from my layover administrative trip to Houston which also gave me something extra to wonder about, like why did that feel like another type of needed vacation in addition to the week in which my computers were out of commission in Merida. No computers meant I could actually just focus on hanging out with people, sight seeing, leisure time and my self-reflections there. Houston was a different break.
I have to stop here for a bit reluctantly, only because my computer issues persist and I want to be able to freely share a lot more details. I will add another post tomorrow and following another electronics purchase, I will add to these blogs. Thank you for bearing with me and sticking with me. I always look forward to sharing with you.
In my last post, I wrote about a lot of random incidences, circumstances in which I had to work around. So…
I checked into a boutique hotel for the day.
There was enough of dealing with mulling things over in my head for the moment.
I knew I needed the break from thinking and a taste of more luxury than a lot of Airbnbs could offer me. I also needed a break from some truly nice hostels. The mental break was needed and it is not the first time I have decided to do so. That is all I have to say about that. . .
. . . well except it was a mini vacation from too much regular work and a vacation from the work of life
Also, this was a ready reminder of the particular kinds of things I may need, (which perhaps could be a lot of what we all need). My needs include regrouping and revisiting my thoughts. At times, I require a particular kind of rest, focus, stillness, reorganizing, only talking to people who make me feel supported and vice versa and the potential to earn a living at a nicer less-demanding pace.
Being in a private AirBnB for a couple of weeks currently is what I need and have now.
Hostels have been a great budget-friendly choice for me as well. They typically have a built-in friendly community and activity vibe but are not always the most conducive to completing projects are growing side gigs.
Each accommodation type seems to showcase a variety of perks and limitations, depending on one’s needs and preferences and so far I have found I can be uplifted or face obstacles in each. I do not like to be too alone but sometimes I really need some space.
I like saving money but I also don’t mind the elements of luxury. It probably speaks well to my nomadic movement and of course has a lot to do with how well I project my budget and advocate for my owed compensation. Finally, a lot just informs me of my own blueprint and perhaps how I can inform others with their decisions.
Behind and all around me is the map of my supposed preferences and completely before me are the unwritten encounters that will shape me.
I like how rare this is. We only get one leap day every four years, and I am reminded I have reignited the plunge I sparked in 2010. I am reminded I have the capacity to do what is unique and strange again. Like many friends (bus, train and flight-bound), I have been nervous along the way but as I noted: My expectations and inspiration far outweigh any doubt I easily identify as a potential obstacle growing into regret.
Everyday, I am reminded I am different in a country not my own. In the country that was my own, the difference began to meet rejection early on. Fair moments, revelations and acceptance could do their work, yet fall short of those experiences which shape our formative years.
Now abroad in Mexico, somehow, the difference seems more welcome, reminding me of affectionate conversations and quality time I had during Pisco Sin Fronteras (Pisco Without Borders). Looking very different from the other Westerners that went to Peru to volunteer then, I wanted to be a part of improving infrastructure after a natural disaster and be someone who shared experiences with people who worked along with us and could face the same judgments I could.
As I wrote of a new life that is healing to me, I sometimes feel like a casual liaison between home and new international places who can be friendly and say a lot or not much at all. I get to be a person who is free, friendly, pensive, outgoing and reserved.
I am consistently aware of how different I am. Only this time, the difference isn’t as daunting as having to be in a space where I could be instantly judged poorly on any micro or macro level or feel expected to represent a variety of people despite my own independent ideas and presence.
This time, being as different as I naturally am feels welcomed abroad by local people, new residents and other visitors like me. Affection and innocent curiosity is exchanged for the microscope (though this can still appear). The boxes to be fitted in don’t remain so close as they used to be. Many of us have already chosen something so left of the norm. Abnormal becomes the usual.
I know there is no perfection. I know both being welcomed and unwelcomed exist in all our spaces, but there is such a stark contrast between first worrying I could easily not find homes away from my native home yet managing to stumble upon comfort again and again.
Today was an unplanned continuation of my birthday (February 27th). It was not even meant for my birthday but truly could have been because of the celebration of my new life and our lives overall. Whereas I spent last night with my good friend, today, we, together spent the majority of today with 5 more like-minded individuals. How it all happened that we traveled here to Merida solo, with past and future stories of continuing travels and all met eventually today in one spot near the Art gallery exhibition for Afro/African American Cuban Art and stumbled upon an eclectic coffee shop, ordering beverages and chatting some more, parting ways respectively to meet again and visited our very familiar Cuban restaurant with a resident artist and lastly ended at a Vegan restaurant that has improved even more since I got here in December. How it happened. That is just life. Knowing some of the ladies for a while from here, meeting perfect strangers and instantly connecting and shaking off the stresses that came from everyday work in the States. That is just life.
I am still working but more fulfilled. I am pleased I made it here before my birthday, knowing I could have done little or next to nothing and still felt the joy of getting to this sanctuary in which I am readily reminded that I am already in one of my vacation spots when I get done with each project.
Tomorrow = more work. Tomorrow also = rest, rejuvenation and possibly more exploration. Tomorrow may also just = way more ease in being still, surrounded by art and history and performance, events both seemingly random and anticipated. Tomorrow quite possibly just means more of finding out what makes me comfortable in everyday surroundings and unexpected excitement.
Status: Translating Mexican documents and currently in Mexico (next trip, leaving Merida, Mexico for Oaxaca, Mexico) and noting that the next document to be translated is from Oaxaca.
It’s hard not to feel I am where I should be when past experiences and fantasizing about seeing more of the world are now mixing again. Still I can’t say it’s all fun and games, being the life I want it to be is definitely still to come between working nomadically and feeling comfortable and secure all the time. It ebbs and flows. I note the current reality as a beautiful struggle.
So, I wanted to be a freelance translator when I took up traveling again. I had traveled with my non-profit job and had a hard time forgetting I needed to be back and what still needed to be done once I did get back. Though I had fun, those thoughts lingered. This time is different. I don’t have to be back and sometimes I worry that I have to come back. Sometimes, I miss not being back.
For now, I am liking my changing schedule. Not so random days can include lunch with a one-day roomie from France in which speaking the language we have most in common is Spanish, having lunch in a restaurant with larger than life pictures of Gandhi and Amy Winehouse, stopping into the University of Yucateca in Merida and eating green curry Asian and European food with a Mexican spin while listening to US/British American rock and pop like “Maniac”. Yet, this is still nothing to say of what the current city is most notable for including the cenotes, Mayan ruins, Mayan traditions, colonial influences and Yucatecan food. Taking everything in is magnificent and occasionally a feat.
Recall the adventure book where “you choose” the ending as you go if you will. My less than dramatic version means: I take a break here, hit up a museum there, have lunch with friends, hit up a bar, go to Cantina Negrita, go to Tropico to watch Karaoke and have the best margaritas I have ever tasted, go to the nicest most economical Cuban restaurant (La Cubanita) in the area and lavish a bit more on an establishment here in there on the street, Paseo de Montejo. Still, there are shows all weekend, festivals, events, an abundance of pets and strays in a dog and cat friendly city complementing a focus on biking, roller blading, skateboarding, abundant park spaces, and working and studying friendly people all around. Where I am still fitting in is through working, touring, relaxing, stressing, luxuriating and appreciating. That is all for me and that is everything.
My thoughts in mid-December: “This feels really good”.
Christmas had proven easy. I had the best taste of family time ever when my brother and friend came to visit in December. They arrived right before the holiday and there was a true sense of mainland USA arriving from back home during my time in Puerto Rico. Life with them was fun, nice and complete, so much so that I knew I was also mentally ready to move on to Mexico.
I had been excited about going but was feeling really sentimental and accustomed to San Juan, Puerto Rico, and not so resource ready for my next move. With them there and more resources, I felt a little more settled.
I was finally getting back into traveling. I didn’t think it would be so long following 2019 and it just seemed even more right to start back up in the same place again. I had revisited Pisco, Peru not too long before that and Guayaquil, Ecuador leading up to that. Still, this was a bit too long for my taste. A lot was also based on the need to request vacation time from my former employers.
Now that I tend to majorly get contract work through an agency, I realized that come Christmas, I was pleased not to have assignments given to me on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and in turn realized I enjoyed the prospect more than working through the holidays as I had done previously. It was just okay for those times I was not on the road and in the air visiting family and traveling. Sometimes I easily convince myself something which is not so bad is welcome or a minor inconvenience, but these days I am learning to be even more real with myself.
Following my everyday decisions and deciding regularly how to spend my travel days encourages me to choose what really fits me and let go of what I actually no longer want to deal with or at least how I can work on changing things like working through weekends or holidays. Those breaks are a nice reset.
Showing my brother and friend how some of the different neighborhoods connected, showing them my favorite spots and spending time chatting and hanging out in the main excursion areas, attraction areas and restaurants/bars put the period I felt I needed to the end of my stay in San Juan. As much as I enjoyed the connections I made, there was an added comfort to having family and long-time friends around that I had been missing since I left for the island. Mexico would prove to be the next place. I assumed there I could get about to making more permanent plans (continues tomorrow)
December 29, 2023 by Cassandra Johnson (Merida, MX)
I sat in my very long layovers from San Juan, Puerto Rico to Merida, Mexico, being in Chicago and Houston respectively, and thought I can’t wait to get home. Home? I then realized this just meant the next place I would live for a while and not a place I had even been before. This perspective was surprising and very true since where I was traveling to was not necessarily permanent and was only first introduced to me through my love of Sortilegio. Coincidentally.
Understandably, home naturally once meant somewhere I was already comfortable and to which I would be returning.
Suddenly realizing I could not wait to be here in Merida now felt the same as looking forward to settling back in somewhere and feeling comfortable and satisfied again. I could rest and explore. The feeling resonated especially with my flight ticket being open-ended. This is a very homey feeling. I do not expect to move here but recently, one-ways have meant not necessarily feeling the pressure of time.
Of course, extended time at the airport and just dealing with travel add to the feeling, but I handled the layovers surprisingly well and just became increasingly excited for my next accommodations. Furthermore, within my now locations, I feel myself getting excited about neighborhood and hostel and AirBnB hopping as well (even eyeing a short resort stay in my near future). Home is getting to feel more like having these options and variety. Each option has pros and cons but I like being in a new neighborhood I can check out and returning “home”/ to wherever my current accommodations may be.
There is a new peace in deciding my true tastes in food, sightseeing and living each day and becoming more accustomed to how each setting has its own uniqueness. It is a test to adapt creature comforts to my new surrounding but sometimes it is easier and sometimes even better than I could have even imagined.
This is it until I become a more permanent expat/immigrant/snowbird, resident. When I am ready, I will know…
I can’t forget Clara. I really wasn’t all that committed to getting a lock for my locker at my temporary hostel (perhaps between Air B&Bs) but as I asked each employee in Spanish at (local and chain) stores, gas stations and convenient stores and I was told the next store up or nearby would have some, I became more dedicated and as I went to the next next, the next adjacent and next nearby. I was going to be okay with just getting it at Walgreens until I checked at Loiza 99₵, (the dollarish store named after the street I was on and which I have come to adore). I implored here about the lock and was told to go to the Norte Shopping Center. The instructions sounded doable but, oh boy, maybe not so much. I left for Norte Shopping Center optimistically and immediately after leaving, I was called back into the store. An elderly petite customer from San Juan had apparently offered to walk with me there. Man, did I have no idea where I was about to attempt to go. She took me through much more of a shortcut. We walked slowly and chatted, but I am sure she got me there faster.
Only what I didn’t realize is that we were happening on a shopping center with actual bargains, a place without any tourists. I also didn’t know we would be chilling while looking at clothes and Christmas items together. I was half wondering if this was my Angel Aunty and I thought exactly yes, as we walked diagonally to the area and she laughed contently remarking on the places in the neighborhood and making casual observations about the pretty painted homes we passed. Simultaneously, she admonished some dangerous areas on the street, puddles, etc or drivers who didn’t seem to be paying attention. The young, middle age and elderly Puerto Rican men all stepped aside politely and gave us just one curious look here and there.
I waited for her to finished getting some new shoes. She had picked up a Christmas piece at Calle 99 cents and she just added these to the bargains. Clara and I walked back as I confided to her that I had also stopped back in this area to check on a friend who wanted to stay here longer but was having some reservations about being able to do so. I only heard from the friend once that day and finding out she lost her phone, I did not know what to do next but wait a couple more hours and then head back to the place I was currently staying.
Clara and I stopped at her bus stop and right before her bus came, I felt like this could just be “See You Later” (“Hasta Luego”) or “See You Around”. She said “Ahhh” at my desire to be here for a bit and being conditioned in the days of my now lifestyle, I wanted to see if she was on Whatsapp, Instagram or Facebook. Well, um, lol, I dared mention Facebook and she chuckled and scoffed while also mentioning people talk too much on there. 😊. I was thinking, Mark Zuckerberg is not reaching everybody he would like to reach. I am on there, but she was not inclined in the least to do the same. She could just get to be my friend who I could see again or maybe one of the many people I can’t help but meet and connect with for the day or several days. Like my customer service days, you never knew, and how kind life can be just to be kind, just to laugh with each other and exchange contact information when you can or maybe missing saying goodbye to a temporary roommate and perhaps exchanging only partial goodbyes. We may meet again and we may be moved how nicely we are able to stay in touch and often, we are just moved to spend our casual days with like-minded individuals.
I am back and this is about my not so smooth landing. Spirit Airlines was actually probably one of the most effortless parts of getting back to San Juan, Puerto Rico – so sorry to them for having such a comically bad reputation.
No breezing through airport TSA this time. Both pieces of major luggage were stopped and especially checked. One reason: I am not exactly sure what I was thinking with a regular size of contact lens solution. Luckily the agent let me slide after testing its content.
Moments before, even more baggage delayed me at the Amtrak terminal. I wanted to fly out of Baltimore for good rates, so it made sense to take the train from DC to there.
As sappy as this may sound, I think I am still chasing dreams. Ironically, the prospect does not make my goals any easier. However, I feel more satisfied along with my continued longing and I currently find myself traveling like I want to but I still have a lot to adjust.
I am imagining an ideal lifestyle (as I have for a while now), one that includes community and having more time with family and friends. I am working on a better quality of life. What I value is now being shaped even more from a combination of experiences I have already experienced. They have just not been sustained to date. I have met more people recently who share the same perspective. They want to maintain this quality of life while staying on budget or increasing what they can budget.
I have offered some encouragement and ideas. I also work to maintain the advice and encouragement for myself. I could have enhanced my current finances which developed from a combination of me giving up my so called “good job” and taking on freelancing full time.
The new development includes not necessarily accounting for delays in payments along with bills that always arrive on time. (So do as I advise rather than as I do.)
Still, though my landing included deciding to move from one hostel to an AirB&B to another hostel that I really really like, I know I would not have had the same experience if I had decided to only downsize my DC life. I would still be wondering about what I am doing now: Starting my nomadic trip and spending time in discussion, chilling, laughing, dancing and cranking out work projects so I could get back to the former.
The lesson it has actually given me is that I should have started sooner. I could have implemented my plans earlier and while I will not beat myself up, I will now know I was even more capable then. More capable when I first had the notion. More capable when the thoughts first turned my attention.
However, I appreciate what people describe as failing forward or to loosely recall Oprah’s encouraging words: A misstep is more like a course corrector, informing us to go another way. We have to figure out the tweaks, here or there, whether they be small or large.
Me. I do not really know but I do know I like it here in San Juan a lot for now, as a place for me to grow and enjoy as I make my way back to Peru again. Seemingly appropriately, I have returned here in November 2023, as the weather easily reminds me of 2019.
This time, during my first week (beginning November 1st), I found comfort in the friendly people both visiting and who live on the island.
As I dream, I also imagine the coincidences of being in places at certain times and getting to know people I otherwise would never have known, had I been here before this month or months later. The timing works and gives me both something to look forward to and look fondly back on.
I am happy to stay for just a bit more and dare I say, the mosquitoes are pleased with this as well. 😊 Working on that.
I actually found a to-do list that is nearly finished. Granted, this particular one (I have many) only had about 3 things on it. Still. 😊 Some semblance to progress.
Over this past month, as one closet seemed empty and a bit neater, one room became more jumbled. Yet, progress can sometimes appear a bit messy and not exactly how you would envision it. My intentions and actions began with some type of order but not much could stay neatly in place as the more I reviewed items and the more I had to dismantle furniture and areas of my place, the process took on a life of its own, depending on my job work load, other commitments, desires and people’s responses to what I was selling and giving away. To get to the point I am in now, I could control the overarching momentum of this move but not everything. Both sides of that led to my liberation. Still, I also made sure I had my very necessary social time with friends and family. I leaned into the peace and laughter they give me.
Still, I am a bit surprised at myself as I walk around my soon to be former apartment now starting to echo but I won’t stop being anxious until my nomadic plan starts to seem real again, not until I’m in that flying seat to San Juan, Puerto Rico, with only virtual matters in my head, like online banking and my new Traveling Mailbox.
It’s comforting to think of the freedom of not being tied to this particular spot, yet I will have some very small storage I expect to downsize and eliminate in the coming year or two. I’m thankful I finally found a guy with reasonable pricing and a very strong physique to help me with this last part of lifting these items and doing it ever so quickly. I will remember that he made the last few days of my time here ones with more ease. I take it as a sign of people reminding me I’m worth this and how much community is necessary.
I really am grateful for a lot. I appreciate how there are people who like my offers and there are people who didn’t break my bank (like the gentleman above) and who were genuinely enthusiastic about working with me.
My hiccups have been ever present so knowing I could overcome some has fueled my energy. Other moments, I imagined giving up or perhaps just giving in and trying another route I do not actually think I want.
I like the sense of knowing a lot of this is directed by me already. Sure. I want to relinquish the plan-making to someone else now and then, but there is also a lot of encouragement in knowing my whims could lead to very real dreams. We will see.
