OCTOBER 30, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON
I was putting myself out there, doing something I would not normally do, although I like taking risks in other areas of my life. I was taking a risk with someone who likes me (or did previously, or perhaps just thinks they do.) I think I could be wrong about any of that now and I’m more so use to dealing with being the one approached whether there is chemistry or unfortunately no chemistry. For this moment, however, I thought I just needed to be more open so the person would also know it was okay to be more open with me.
I was not going to judge if either of us was awkward. I have been smooth in enough situations. I was not going to care if either of us did not know exactly what to say next – not because I was in some hurry to be such an evolved person but because sometimes when we play it too safe, we miss out on the fun experiences, simply just trying not look stupid in front of other people.
So we shall see. I usually try to avoid this risk where you are more out of control, where more of people’s reactions and your feelings are involved but on the flip side, if the feelings are matched and you get a true connection, the outcome is always more rewarding than just connecting to things. I run the risk of being hurt but doing nothing often feels a lot like not participating in potential as well.
This kind of reminds me of sandboarding for the first time. Sometimes, personal risks are easier. I know there was someone giving us instructions and advising us to be careful in certain ways but as a new leap, there is no being able to prepare for what the experience feels like. You are in a moment alone. You are in a decision alone and there no going back once you hit the momentum as I did, jetting down the sand dune.
Before a step, you have a chance to opt out. You have a chance to play it safe and change your mind.
I’m glad I didn’t. The first time when a flicker or a great deal of excitement strikes you at the idea of doing something or you feel like interestingly responding to someone special, you’re better off entertaining the thought, even if it takes you a while get there.
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