October 29, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson
I have learned not to give too much to my introversion as I do also love community. I have also learned to recognize my solo needs, to be better to myself.
I do enjoy bonding when I am not feeling inexplicably self-conscious. Alternately, I also acknowledge my resilience to regroup and revitalize myself.
What has been most interesting to me lately, however, is how I have come to notice similar solo needs in a number of other people. The number is larger than I would have expected, and realizing this has made me more empathetic, so apart from hanging out with them, dancing with them, chatting with them, drinking with them (some flirting)… I have felt another type of connection.
By collecting my thoughts and tranquility when I am alone, I remind myself of what I really want and need, and I remind myself of the fact that I need to try much more of this out before I can be certain if what I need or want still stands. Minds may change. Therefore, I need that alone time, good for such thinking and also for clearing my mind (not overthinking and just being still).
Sometimes I need more of the quietness than others, but I have recently taken note that I am not so alone in this. Ironically, in the simile of needing those inward moments, I suspect other people may need this too. After almost a year of countless accommodations and interactions as a digital nomad, I do not think I have just coincidentally been vicinity booking along with a large number of other introverts. I do not think so, because in other instances, I notice what seems real extroversion on the part of a number of outgoing people who naturally seem to receive energy from interacting with others. Yet, I have caught them “escaping” too. I have caught them escaping the noise, whether it be very literal or figurative. I have caught them in a variety of ways in their own quests for solitude.
Adalia Aborisade’s video on how to travel as an Introvert really spoke to me and what we may do or feel from going inward. Me being someone who also likes hanging out, seeing the world and meeting people, she and the other viewers reiterated for me that sometimes we get away from who we truly are because our true selves are not accepted or expected, especially when we are out there exploring our overall dreams. It is not uncommon to be told you need to participate in the group at all times. They also reminded me it is not uncommon to be misinterpreted and cajoled. I think I just judged myself too strictly thinking I could no longer carry the introverted label, when a part of this actually seems to be welcomed by most people to varying levels. I am also reclaiming some of my shyness, though it may appear differently now. My nature has not changed at the core.
I see people looking for their solo spaces and moments as I especially spend my traveling time between hotels and hostels. People were looking for moments and spaces on the terrace, in the kitchen, in an extra room, in their own room or a shared room in their bunk bed while others were out touring or in other parts of the hostel or hotel. People were even randomly hoping for a moment at breakfast or in front of a large screen community television.
Someone reading. Someone gazing and thinking (seemingly daydreaming) while reclining. Someone listening, laughing to videos on their phone. Someone delving into work on their computer, but as they would in their own private office with no boss.
I see the people. I see us. Moments apart and common bonds in solitude. These are the moments we recollect ourselves, maybe even forget the pending issues or worries of our days, maybe even finally come up with a solution after we have had some time to relax away from what has to be done or decided.
Perhaps, this is just a much needed mental break or another moment to help us be honest with ourselves and to be ourselves.