February 27, 2023 by Cassandra Johnson
Recent days have been a nice reset after all the constant hard work.
Every week in February has been especially busy until now, leading up to another yearly notch in my time here.
Seemingly, the break has been much needed, before I prepare to pick up the pace again right after my birthday. I am excited to be a little more mature (maybe) and quite a bit savvier (and silly). I hope. I suspect. I have been through a bit more, happily and a bit roughly and it appears to ring true that this shapes a person’s outlook and hopefully provides some degree of more wisdom. Some of this wisdom has been geared towards letting go.
I feel the support in all the different routes I must choose. I appreciate you all for affording me the opportunity to figure out my possibly nomadic or simply moving goals here. I appreciate the support from friends and family who fully imagine me following through, however long I take. Normally I am that pessimistic optimist who wants and hopes for good things but has that feeling like she is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thanks for watching me grow and get better at not preparing for something to go wrong?
Now, during some considerable time off, I want to enjoy my comforts and acknowledge what I have finished. I get a pass to work smarter. We all do. With over 1500 multi-faceted translation projects complete and other work under way, I plan to continue, just not in the same ways, rather more rest and ease in between, including taking care of myself and enjoying various relationships. This birthday break plus mini sabbatical was good practice.
The encouraging videos of Stephanie Perry (vaycarian) are soaking into my system more gradually as I work on this year being such a transition to a smarter easier life. More than likely, I may take more than a year to get there, but also, really?
Whereas momentum has been a positive in getting me over some humps, momentum also had a dangerous speed. I did more for less. I spent up a lot of my free time. I worked on fruitless issues and work. Maybe, a lot of us do in instances, to prove something to ourselves. We hope we create a worthy outcome, but I like the message I get from Stephanie and the other ladies. You can just be. You can just reinvigorate yourselves and dole out or not dole out your energy as you see fit. I am inspired by their practice and seeing others do the same.
Moreover, I am not even certain people can notice every detail of what we may try to do in work or volunteering. They may be able to, but I have not witnessed such thorough recognition. The argument may be that what is done is not about them, however I see actions so often intertwined with validations. Inasmuch as others can appreciate other’s efforts, we have to stop short of taxing our bodies and minds. We can do what we choose, but I worry and hear of many people taking on too much for the wrong reasons and running themselves down. They make uneven sacrifices.
What about our health and having energy for ourselves and the right people. How about the freedom to just be, at some point. Stephanie underscores so much for me. I credit her and think how I never thought about how many common structures in the U.S. reiterate the growing issue of not being enough. Not doing enough. We may even discount what we do as not such a big deal or just being natural. We set an impossible weary bar.
2020 was a breakthrough when I broke away from having a traditional boss/bosses and gave up the necessity of commuting pretty substantially. During my gratitude and prayer practice, I remind myself how I could be in a totally different place and not just have the remnants of continuously doing doing doing. I could still be in the midst of this outlook instead of trying to do less.
If you are unrecognizable to yourself in your appearance or you feel spent when you do get a chance to sit down, give yourself credit and consider not doing much more.