Tag: soccer

What May Come

MAY 31, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON

Soccer reminds me when I was green with inexperience and my efforts to absorb as much as possible, as quickly as possible.

I was a little late to the idea of playing sports in the name of school spirit and soon realized the tryouts were more so a reunion for everyone who had been playing on the local area club teams. Even players who didn’t know each other leaned into the familiarity of their similar past experiences. Their reaction to the others:  Sizing us up (good and/or bad) and keeping a log accordingly. Perhaps this is how a lot of life’s premiere meetings go.

Thank goodness for the maturity we can eventually give each other and ourselves to grown, though knowingly, the room for growth is not always promised. There are some lessons.

Before adding soccer, my interests were elsewhere and varied across the map. My drive towards them was also perhaps somewhat to the point of obsession. (In a lot of respects, I am still this way.)

Soccer was simply not to be my focus yet. Even falling out of the loop in my recent years) I note how once I decided to go out for the junior varsity team at 14…

…well let’s just say (as they say), some things, simply become etched in your heart for the duration.

How did my obsessions (or maybe intense focus is a better description) play out in my formative years? I think certain focus is needed in a time where we’re feeling both accepted and unaccepted, dealing with both the pressures of figuring out who we are and who we want to become while in some cases being lauded and in other cases being hurt. School can that fun challenging place. What makes us become who we are? We soon see.

My focus included losing myself in classical music practice and concerts (which lasted from 5th grade into college), falling in love with the globe very early on and what it would mean to travel and how I adored meeting and learning about the guys and girls who would venture to our high school from abroad.

Going from a smallish city to a massive college (Ohio State) meant I got to befriend and meet countless people from practically everywhere.

Learning to speak Spanish and all the activities this entailed, such as being Spanish club Secretary also called in a lot of my attention. More of my interests did not really seem to match my personality, yet we are all dynamic creatures, even if we too sometimes find it less demanding to fit ourselves into the box.  

I cannot include all the quirks and day to day activities nor all my hobbies in which I found myself drawn but I write all this to share another realization of how capable we are of so much variety in our lives. Our skills complement our efforts, and a good deal of our work can be psychological. The mindset we emulate for early ventures and what we decide we can do from both reinforcement and determination tug us forward or limit our trajectory. I was reminded of the naiveté I had when I first stepped onto the soccer field. Yet I was determined. Being a library nerd (ahem, it is not a bad thing), I checked out books for drills and Pelé’s autobiography. I was determined soccer wise but I would only make it so far. It was a hell of a way so I cannot look back on those moments feeling dejected. Disappointments intermingle themselves around our victories.

Sounds not quite the romantic underdog story but I remember the surprise when I did score on the seasoned players and how I became better despite the late start. The realization I could be a part of something for which I held a passion still leans into the dedication and willingness I can dare to embrace with a little or a lot of fallibility, whatever the case may be.

Thank you for taking the time to share in part of my at times cliché but needed journey. Until next time. 😊

You and Me

APRIL 26, 2020 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON
Image Credit: Gellinger on PIxabay

Thank you for being here with me again. I’m excited I’ve reached some more subscribers. Sharing my stories here was a bit of a leap of faith. Still is. I appreciate all the encouragement both on this platform and in everyday situations.

I get a message speaking to me every few days and played out in different ways, both verbally and in actions I witness. This is in addition to different overarching and more subtle ones. From some of the influencers I follow, the recurring message is a reminder to be myself in every moment and in case you need the reminder: Also think of what it means to be the real you. Always.

When I was very young, before I knew what a blog was, I wanted to write stories, novels, poems, a book. I loved the play on words. People putting energy and meaning to paper meant the world to me.

I’m fortunate my mom gave me so much encouragement when I would lose myself in what I now know as the source of creativity. Emerging later with a poem, she would be my first audience. She would recall my latest one whenever my aunt was visiting from their home state. “Go and get the poem you wrote.” My heart would be dancing, my feet practically running out from under me. Returning so fast, I would read it proudly, though at the time, I was a shy child developing self-image issues. These are the times I was taller than life.

I got a sense if I could read something, I could learn it. The clarinet naturally aligned with my identity in band and symphony for umpteenth years. I began reading music like the many books I checked out of the local Middletown library. I inhaled them. On one occasion I leaned especially nonfiction, picking up Pelé’s autobiography and a couple of training books, deeming myself officially ready for high school soccer tryouts. There was nothing like the physicality of the conditioning and drills I would endure, and the real world negative and positive experiences. Still, my internalization of words and characters on paper somehow got me to the next and the next, even if that just translated into encouragement and possibilities.

I developed more affinity for the art of language, especially Spanish, as I navigated from junior high to high school. I fancied a vision of some future diplomacy work. Exploring and volunteering would be next. My best-laid plans are in some of my travel stories. Turns out my itineraries were best followed and altered after delving into books, guides and forums like Lonely Planet and National Geographic. Seeing it, (and occasionally planning too much) I finally left to play and live in some spaces I once only imagined.

I see it could be easy to forget even just tiny remnants of what piques our interest before hopefully recalling them again. I know just a few of mine are writing, translating, traveling off-beaten tracks, and connecting with the stories everyone has. What intrigues us doesn’t have to be static, but it’s sometimes helpful, at least for me, to recall that feeling. I sense we all have a sense of what makes us feel alive, when we feel most energetic and interested rather than blasé.

Sometimes, we can look outward and not always fully recall what truly matters the most to us and what we truly want to reflect and share with others. It can happen when trying to fulfill certain everyday expectations and obligations. Every one of us is unique so such metrics can be off putting.

The message coming to me recently from a lot of influencers is that it sometimes took them a while to get back to who they have always been. How easy it is to get caught up when seeking some particular permission or acceptance. Funny how the need to evade rejection or judgement sometimes creeps in or even stuns us.

What I gathered from their lessons is that whether the metrics are perceived or real, the quickest way to the fullest life is being true to yourself in all you do. In turn, you’re true to others. The message was encouraging, seemingly simple, though easily forgotten when moving about the world. A simple reminder I sometimes need when making a choice and a reminder to you in case you ever need it.

Your time is always appreciated. Thank you sharing it here with me. 😊