DECEMBER 31, 2020 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON
I must have lost it. I thought so at first. Yet I simply was just not prepared to do something a little outside my box. I had casually trained myself to think I was only good at certain activities like avid reading, writing, language learning, travel, soccer with friends, and so many interests which may not have always intertwined but more importantly had come to paint my identity.
My last task before I left my 9ish to 5ish work was not anything at which I would have expected myself to excel. When I entered college at Ohio State (now seeming quite the time ago), I found it helpful to focus on certain passions while not becoming discouraged in completing the requirements, which were not at all my forte.
“Just not good with numbers” is what I may have said or thought to myself. Time and time again, I let that be so easy a belief. However, I finally had to realize, if I wanted to succeed, I had to chip away at the old limiting vestiges. I would soon get the true tastes of how perhaps many of us should not be so quick to define ourselves. There will always be others to help with such fairly narrow definitions (some of them well-meaning and some of them, frighteningly not so well-meaning).
If I had let the idea of “just not being good…” be the case, I would have promptly failed out of university. Instead I was able to do well, though I primarily let some of the anti-me mantra color my outlook. The outcome could have been a waste of money and time for both the necessary skills I needed to be well rounded during my studies and my future professions. I did not want to let myself or my parents down. Their efforts meant so much to me.
Economics actually came naturally to me, perhaps because I had not yet come up with any preconceived notions. The concepts made logical sense to me. Unfortunately, Statistics and Accounting were my most dauting classes and being on a quarter timeframe, back then, meant I could fall behind quickly. I centered these two courses as completely abstract to anything I would possibly need to be a peacekeeper, a diplomat, bilingual, lover of reading and all which was more along the lines of what I felt were my plans.
I respected the people who truly got them, and I was convinced I was not one of them.
Fast forward a few years later, becoming a 2nd language speaker, graduating from college and still getting to do what I envisioned as traveling and helping communities here and abroad, I was still using some of the coursework I initially thought was not for me.
Following my move to D.C, my jobs were member and customer driven, but I would still find data and finance was an important element to them. In the process, getting to know the nuts and bolts of various systems and processes was increasingly satisfying. I could carry out most of the work I needed to complete my day and help people out, without much assistance.
I did not realize how prepared I had become to complete the heavier more analytical tasks. I also had not anticipated the growing confidence in my ability to figure things out.
My final 9ish to 5ish position sat me squarely in the financial arena and I knew I would not have attempted the work, had I really thought about it much longer. I could have then talked myself out of it. I was already working on quite a few processes which overlapped with my upcoming finance role but sometimes the old classifications keep us stuck. Sometimes they mean missed opportunities.
When I chose labor -intensive volunteer work in Pisco, Peru, this meant literally helping to rebuild after the effects of an earthquake. People did a double take when I described this first volunteer humanitarian trip abroad. They did another take when I told them I would be away for quite some time. Although volunteering abroad definitely fit me into the box I liked, the type of work I chose was unexpected. Construction is not my forte, but I wanted to try something unlike my other community work. I also knew I wanted to spend time on disaster relief. My tasks in Peru (and later Bolivia) were not always construction-oriented, but they were more than enough to give me the challenge I welcomed. I was reminded of being able to accomplish something I was once incapable of envisioning.
Smirking a bit. The additional bonus was the surprising looks I would receive, after sharing some experiences here and there. Considering what defines us and what may not, I am reminding myself to try some “uncharacteristic” quests and I would recommend others do so as well. We would be wise to at least allow ourselves the consideration. We may continue to inspire and surprise others and more interestingly, we may continue to surprise ourselves.
*May your 2021 be bright. 😊