Tag: uninhibited

Certain

September 30, 2022 by Cassandra Johnson

What I also realized about the uninhibited life was an added self-assurance. How easy it was to state my cases and/or preferences.

Some of the most comfort I had disagreeing with people I really liked was far from home and where I would not have expected to feel so secure. Even when I was wrong (and had to make up for it), I realize how much more self-assurance came with what I was doing, what we were doing, what I really wanted and not getting everything perfect.  

I speak my mind when necessary in the States, but usually leave a lot more room for others to voice things themselves (and so not always when necessary). Both angles probably have their ups and downs, but I really seem to be quite comfortable coming out of my mouth with something with conviction when I am already on an adventure. I might be risking an awkward situation but somehow do not seem as worried. Maybe I am less sensitive, less worried about the perceptions of others. Again, I note the uninhibited life (linked above). Yet, I seemed to be liked just the same. What if it is more? I guess the friendly, helping nature I still offer abroad helps but I cannot help but notice I am considerably less reserved in stating my opinion or about trying something that could be exciting or end up a complete disappointment.

I guess there is a certain comfort in already being outside your comfort zone, having made it comforting. Before I departed, how nervous (though excited) I was to be abroad, how unsure I was if there could be any danger. I really did not know much about what was certain.  Yet, finding your niche and finding more friends, you can be more certain of your daring nature and personally this could be what helped me be more adamant as well.

I remember telling my new friend in Puerto Rico that I, in fact, was not the reason we were late to our first day of volunteer service. (We actually were not that late) but definitely off track. In the moment, I just knew it took two and we both had a hand in our goal that day. Understandably, in his frustration, (I believe just human nature) he sought a target. I was rather satisfied with that not becoming the narrative that got produced that day. How easy it could have been once getting there and asked, “did you find everything okay?” We were over it and into what we were meant to do in no time and just enjoying the sights in between.

I remember telling my friend in Peru that there were plenty of people to fill in for me one day when I wanted to properly see another friend off (what if I did not get to see the friend who was leaving anytime soon). I felt as stubborn as I must have been as a small child. No way I was letting Margaret leave without going sandboarding with her and spending a whole day with her and others where we had met.

I remember taking my friend to task for what I thought was inconsiderately taking my sleeping gear, although this definitely falls into the aforementioned category of things that I should apologize for (a true misunderstanding). We were still close after that. Thank goodness. I am glad he did not hold it against me.

On the less confrontational side, I was more apt to be out and about too, ready to be dragged along or doing the convincing of others, myself.

Knowing who you are does seems to come with the territory of putting yourself out there, trying new things, daring yourself to travel alone or with others to a totally unexpected place. I am true in a sense to in my everyday goals, when I am not away, but somehow I sense a little more reservation, perhaps leaning towards stability and knowing what’s coming. Understandably, I get how this speaks to safety and security but eventually it also gets me quicker to craving an adventure at some point. I am learning from both life versions, both truly me. Learning. Taking notes.

The Uninhibited Life

May 31, 2022 By Cassandra Johnson

You could choose to be like someone else or dare to be true to yourself. The irony is that in a space where you have your daily habits, routines and responsibilities, you might find yourself being less in tune with yourself in many ways as you try to follow rules, norms, expectations, and possible perceptions.

What is one interesting natural alternative to quickly meeting your authenticity?

Travel.

No one generally knows us where we are going to go yet. Therefore…

We could reinvent or we could reconnect.

I soon realized part of enjoying getaways also lent to getting back to being a free spirit.

The next backdrop turned me towards Cusco. Home of Machu Picchu and my new home. From Arequipa to here, I was less afraid of who I really was and all too familiar with doing what was different. I was homesick in part but in an extreme level of comfort under my own skin. As the nomad minority traveler, I was feeling rather stable and different. I felt my new friends felt it too. We could be a little wild in exploring and likewise be adventurous in just being true to who we really were. What were our own unique styles, expressions and desires?

I’m not from New York, Vegas, New Orleans or similar parts of the US (only a visitor to even livelier cities). I now was able to regularly enjoy that dancing all night meant until 6 am. It just happened to be in Cusco and there were no differences from weekdays to weekends. Chill nights of course had their place too.

Normal life now also meant easy access to some amazing nature and historical settings. Whether it was an hour or about a half-day outing to somewhere like Sacred Valley or Sacsayhuaman, we got countless chances to plan some historic trips and get the connection to what was once Incan empires and other indigenous living. Everyday surroundings were still infused with them. We got the pleasure of befriending 3 native gentleman who would gift us with impromptu Quechua lessons and uninhibited also meant hanging out with them in the plaza, at any given time.

Teaching on weekdays, while challenging at times, also meant a carefree vibe as we connected with local children and who knew how intense our energy reserves could be, even still dancing the night away.

Most of us just traveling, volunteering or doing both, from different walks of life were transported to this place with some similar objectives.

More rooted in curiosity, appreciation, aspiration and even fatigue lent to our lack of inhibition, which ironically to me did not always necessarily mean sheer abandon but rather a heightened comfort with our true feelings and wishes, a step back from various shields we would wear to get through our normal routines back home.

Normal routines had their comforts and authenticity, but I was realizing the varying types of discipline commanded in work, church, an even how to behave leisurely was easily inhibiting. I welcomed the gentle reminder traveling in the States or abroad could bring. Nothing had to be perfect. The misadventures, gloom, and danger have happened. I just know sometimes taking a break from the autopilot has its freedoms too.