My Way

JANUARY 31, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON

Similar to very recently quitting my job, I was more excited about my first lone trip abroad than I could ever be nervous. Yet, I still had my moments of understanding why some people could be concerned. Traveling to a remote area especially posed a case for the nerves.

I did it anyway. I knew I would soon be with a concentrated group of very like-minded people, but first I had to get there.

I was “in between jobs”, back then, as they say. This was tough but I got the sense of a silver lining right away. After the governing board decided to downsize the entire staff, there was a mixture of fluid emotions and throughout the transitioning period, I was excited and weary.

I had just joined the company in 2009 and it was very soon a sinking ship. They or rather we were in the red.

Our entire staff only added up to about 7 and being let go by the board members’ vote was a bit of a relief. The news was still shocking in a way because we each had nice and or/friendly relations with most of them, but I believe it was the head and a majority-shifted decision combined with a presentation by the management company taking over.

So, with our discouragement, we collectively bonded over not one of us being left on staff and how we were then thrown back into the interview pool. This included the CEO. We also bonded over the strangeness of informing the new management corporation on all our processes. The board decided it would be better to let the new company take over from here. It would most likely help them continue to operate. One major note: They would have no employee benefits to count as their expenses.

I could not help the irritation on some days. However, staying upset is hard when you are making lemonade. I could now take this opportunity to travel without the background thoughts of when it would be appropriate to take some time off. I set the wheel in motion by doing my basic research and outlining my objectives from A to Z. I primarily sought what would be the right organization for both me and the individuals with whom I was going to volunteer.

Had these circumstances not played out, I do not know if I would have finally realized my goal of volunteering abroad for an extended period of time. Otherwise, I would have been working to plan it around my vacations and other PTO. I also would have had the guilt and overriding thoughts of what I needed to get done once I returned to work. I think work and being away can be done, depending on the circumstances but my thinking then would have caused me to put myself second to any job I had. (I ended up with a temp assignment before I left but I was adamant about them not taking me on full time. I sensed I would get deterred.)

Coincidentally, there was an international volunteer organization fair sponsored by Google and Idealist.org. (my favorite back-in-the-day job search engine). I found an event like this in DC not to be too surprising, but I did find the timing to be quite serendipitous.

I took some steps forward. I took a few steps back.

The event was another rollercoaster. I primarily saw my dream as being too pricey.  Most of the presenting organizations had astronomical fees for even the shortest stint of time. A lot of them additionally did not connect with what I sought to be doing abroad.

I fake gave up for a while – that feeling of “oh no, this is never going to happen”. Still, there is this vision of revisiting thoughts … sooner if not later. I proceeded to become proactive because of my disappointment. The result was a determination to prove my outlook false.

I wish I could remember exactly (so I could give due credit) how I finally rabbit-holed my way down to a site for inexpensive and/or free volunteer opportunities in Latin America.

Perhaps It may have just been Google itself circling back around to rescue me from my growing doubts. On a grand scale, I was left daunting but now here I was more plugged into my search. The site, volunteersouthamerica.net was broken down by Spanish-speaking regions and countries and I hovered over several until I knew I found my second home in Pisco, Peru. The organization’s website led me to more about their objectives and feedback and a video from very real volunteers. I laughed at the humor they shared together and was heartened seeing them work with the community. The organization still meant I would have my weekly costs, but in a way which made much more sense to me then: Roughing it and being very grass roots.

Currently seeing how my former co-volunteers move about the world and still being close to some of the city’s residents reiterates how right I was to select this place.

There was more to do elsewhere, but for the moment, Pisco was going to be my home away for as long as I was able to stay.

Participating in disaster relief recovery was a pivotal decision. I needed one change like my job situation to get me thinking about my real goals. I like to remind myself of missed opportunities and ones I have been fortunate to take advantage of like living in Pisco. I like to reminisce over what taking a leap feels like and imagine how nice it will be to continue again.