MAY 31, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON
Soccer reminds me when I was green with inexperience and my efforts to absorb as much as possible, as quickly as possible.
I was a little late to the idea of playing sports in the name of school spirit and soon realized the tryouts were more so a reunion for everyone who had been playing on the local area club teams. Even players who didn’t know each other leaned into the familiarity of their similar past experiences. Their reaction to the others: Sizing us up (good and/or bad) and keeping a log accordingly. Perhaps this is how a lot of life’s premiere meetings go.
Thank goodness for the maturity we can eventually give each other and ourselves to grown, though knowingly, the room for growth is not always promised. There are some lessons.
Before adding soccer, my interests were elsewhere and varied across the map. My drive towards them was also perhaps somewhat to the point of obsession. (In a lot of respects, I am still this way.)
Soccer was simply not to be my focus yet. Even falling out of the loop in my recent years) I note how once I decided to go out for the junior varsity team at 14…
…well let’s just say (as they say), some things, simply become etched in your heart for the duration.
How did my obsessions (or maybe intense focus is a better description) play out in my formative years? I think certain focus is needed in a time where we’re feeling both accepted and unaccepted, dealing with both the pressures of figuring out who we are and who we want to become while in some cases being lauded and in other cases being hurt. School can that fun challenging place. What makes us become who we are? We soon see.
My focus included losing myself in classical music practice and concerts (which lasted from 5th grade into college), falling in love with the globe very early on and what it would mean to travel and how I adored meeting and learning about the guys and girls who would venture to our high school from abroad.
Going from a smallish city to a massive college (Ohio State) meant I got to befriend and meet countless people from practically everywhere.
Learning to speak Spanish and all the activities this entailed, such as being Spanish club Secretary also called in a lot of my attention. More of my interests did not really seem to match my personality, yet we are all dynamic creatures, even if we too sometimes find it less demanding to fit ourselves into the box.
I cannot include all the quirks and day to day activities nor all my hobbies in which I found myself drawn but I write all this to share another realization of how capable we are of so much variety in our lives. Our skills complement our efforts, and a good deal of our work can be psychological. The mindset we emulate for early ventures and what we decide we can do from both reinforcement and determination tug us forward or limit our trajectory. I was reminded of the naiveté I had when I first stepped onto the soccer field. Yet I was determined. Being a library nerd (ahem, it is not a bad thing), I checked out books for drills and Pelé’s autobiography. I was determined soccer wise but I would only make it so far. It was a hell of a way so I cannot look back on those moments feeling dejected. Disappointments intermingle themselves around our victories.
Sounds not quite the romantic underdog story but I remember the surprise when I did score on the seasoned players and how I became better despite the late start. The realization I could be a part of something for which I held a passion still leans into the dedication and willingness I can dare to embrace with a little or a lot of fallibility, whatever the case may be.
Thank you for taking the time to share in part of my at times cliché but needed journey. Until next time. 😊