I am just in transit. I am excited to go back to the US for a while to carry back more of what I have learned and to simply be, back where I am from.
I will keep you posted or mention some things here and there. I plan on keeping my good memories but also on accepting my need for more or to be better while also regrouping. I am surprisingly relieved to be without my duffel bag upon return which is incredibly weird because it was taken and an integral loss as well. Yet, I feel much lighter and reflective thinking about what I did salvage in my little purple suitcase, still with me and which still rolled steadily along with me during my last days in South America, Central America and Mexico (the duffel was at least still in my accommodations up to the last couple days, as well). My purple maleta is still here and also excited to visit her girl’s roots as well.
I do want to hit every continent. We will see. I always think that. Nothing wrong with going with a natural flow and nothing wrong with trying out new plans and new dreams and especially finding out they have already been very much a part of the former life I had led. I did say I would go back to Guatemala. I did say I truly want to be with friends and family as well, and perhaps a growing family). We will see, maybe even figure some things out.
Discouragement is part of the territory. Sometimes pain is self-inflicted. Sometimes we consider ourselves not to be reaching enough of our goals fast enough.
There was an incredibly simple song I enjoyed in primary school. Beginning with “little by little”*, there was such a polite nudge and a naturally successful logic to the ending of “little by lot”
I have been known to overwork in some fashions, obsessively moving towards some ends. However, I have become wiser in avoiding so much additional strain. The bruises have their own lessons.
Life’s leaps have not been exactly what I would imagine them to be, but I am fortunate to have the freedom to test my limits.
Work has been my latest attempt but getting to work for myself took considerable courage and I need some more. Nothing is certain.
Imagining exactly what something is like before you try is not expected. Personally, going away to college was one thing. Moving to a city where I did not know anyone was another.
Liberation and fears are included with your steps forward. You get discouraged some days and on other days you see your dreams as plausible.
Experiences up or down can hopefully change us for the better. My stress and pains have prepared me a little more. Discouragement can also have a way of giving us more to consider. Can we get past our believed and true obstacles? Success is the reminder.
Traveling alone to another country was better than I could have ever invented in my head. The trips like the leaps sometimes feel so natural. I have had these nudges to continue going where my goals are shifting and the what-ifs torment me way more than what seems impossible.
Figuring out our own puzzles is reaffirming as well as just giving ourselves the chance to try.
My days are predictable and then they are unpredictable. I am able to get my fitness in very regularly and sleep well and then some days, my tasks have to get juggled a little differently. Meet today. Wednesday. What is this sleep and I promised myself dinner would be better than lunch (although ironically lunch involved fruit and dinner was pizza, but you see what I mean 😉).
Chilling and casually ticking tasks off my list or rapidly typing away. In either scenario, I am feeling at ease. I adore my new schedule. My worst complaint and grumbling as a freelancer does not even come close to touching the upside. I now don’t feel pulled in several uneven directions. My multitasking is there but she is tailor-made for me, now that I have left my office job.
Today had me working nonstop (from the night before) until I met my targets and deadlines but on days like this, when I am working particularly hard, I notice I have more peace of mind than the days I was not my boss. Now, of course I do have to answer to deadlines and consequently to some people, but there is such a different aura in being able to rest whenever I am done and not having to answer to any extra work issues.
Since I worked on getting my official certifcation, I have always been glad I started on the path to becoming a freelancer. My previous jobs did enhance the skills I need to progress and handle work so I give credit where credit is due and acknowlege the fun and perks of having an employer.
At the moment, what I am particularly taking away from previous work is how I should be incorporating a much better to-do list for myself. I could be doing what I did for others for myself. 😊 I also miss friends/coworkers but I am much more excited to stay in touch when we can without work-related items pulling at us.
I have not wavered although some days are noticeably downward emotionally and nonwork related. I think that is human and natural. I am excited to do more, so I am working on my own performance review to move me and my business goals a bit further each week.
For now, as I wait and plan and save, I will be having more fun with my long and short-term investments. Currently, life is about staying in touch with folks, translating, teaching and learning. I like to stay open to see what interesting people and circumstances happen to be next. My main objective is still taking care of my passions and getting to see my friends and family whenever I can.
I had a moment where I realized the need to continue connecting and reconnecting with more like-minded people. I had an acquaintance I had not been in touch with for a number of years who recently and ultimately unconvincingly tried to let me know he would be so excited if we could “get a chance to catch up”. He made it seem almost urgent.
image credit Canva
I do also want to be mindful of not dismissing him for his behavior. Arguably, I am particularly set in my ways as well so being different from each other is not a mark against either of us. His particular outreach however in trying to get my latest contact info was more about adding me to his financial planning prospect list. I had no problem with the product (well perhaps in the limiting perspective he had about it) but mostly, I had a problem with the pretense of this being a true mutual reconnection.
A little introspection was next. Not necessarily making the right judgments will rapidly take you there. During our conversation, I quickly determined he had not really heard my perspective. At the minimum he was barely acknowledging it. I am glad I did not expend much more energy catching him up on what I have been up to over the past several years. Often it is not all that difficult to tell when someone is invested in what is significant to us. A few moments can give this away.
He definitely seemed more interested in moving to the next thing, which put the focus on his ventures. He briefly asked what I did for freelancing while his next inquiry sounded pretty par for the course for capturing leads at a networking event. Networking is needed and nice but this felt so out of place with how excited he spoke on soley just being able to catch up and chat.
I am glad I instantly recognized the lack of space for me. Now, there is this appreciation of being so aware of those who do support me and who I support. Why not channel my energy there? Sometimes we can get caught up in trying to prove ourselves to others and even to ourselves. I almost went there with him to let him know there are more ways than just his way. Yes, there is a time to choose our battles. Yes, there are times we need to knock over the hurdles and be seen. We figure it out.
Fortunately, my circle now is of like-minded people including those who think differently, but still really get me. It was intriguing how this acquaintance reconnected and reminded me of leaning into limitations. There are so many non-limiting connections and people I still click with from the past so perhaps this was a good reminder of individuals who I simply will not get, who are not meant to get me. I appreciate the people here who share my interests and appreciate the support in general.
I am back to embracing the idea of resolutions, even if it means just digging deeper into existing goals with more dedication.
For some time, I have shied away from putting a label on the new goals I have each year and the goals I have regularly. Resolution sounds so final.
I can be both idealistic and sternly logical when I need to be, but either way I had somehow become simply superstitious about labeling my goals as resolutions. Setting a 1-year target, corresponding with the start of a new year is exciting. The flip side is daunting.
I think some of the pressure may be unwittingly linked to the idea of a resolution needing to be completed in one year. As distractions naturally happen over a day, a week, or more, I notice discouragement can possibly creep in.
I was thinking now may be a good time to revisit my perspective and how I take on my projects. A lot has changed for me personally and we have all been through a lot in 2020. Measuring my progress in a variety of ways has helped me to stay focused and especially encouraged when I am not focused. I know something has gone awry whenever a goal starts feeling like a job.
The best rework I did for myself was breaking my steps down into even smaller ones. Then I could really take a look at what works for me. As I am impressed by friends and family, I realize we do not always recall all the momentum and accomplishments we reach along the way. They can be so significant, but easily put away.
Goals are allowed to change or be completely replaced.
I am feeling more open to the New Year corresponding with continued projects and mainly just newer milestones.
What is also getting accomplished is the steps leading up to the bigger ones. What was accomplished was leaving my job and organizing my time better.
Goals are considerably interesting these days. They are there to be revisited. I am welcoming the flexibility as long as there is progress and/or reflection.
I HAVEN’T QUITE GOTTEN THE CHANCE to try supplementing my income as a potentially reduced income earner (though it could also go the other way). Between getting a considerable amount of freelance translation work and still being able to help out at my old company, my schedule is not lacking for variety of activities. Not even a little bit.
During such a globally taxing time, finding time for balance is hardly a bad predicament. I realized this early on and though I may perhaps be sleep deprived from time to time, I am pretty hell bent on getting this right or as near to right as possible. Getting to work on all the projects I like and being able to help people (which at times is mutually inclusive) is all worth the effort to me. I am intrigued how time for family and friends and personal well-being is recurring throughout my days, because I am working on the former good habits while embracing the bad ones of, let’s say, perhaps maybe too much chocolate.
Finding time, due to there being several opportunities and many resources to explore, is quite a good issue to have. The circumstances are rather nice when transitioning from one work mode of 9ish to 5ish to whatever a freelancing schedule will look like. Taking the leap when the advice is to lock down my traditional role in what seems an especially unpredictable time has been destabilizing for me but at the same time, so rejuvenating.
With a little understatement, it shall be interesting to see how I do when I am just freelancing soon, or at least doing it 90% of the time. However, since I have been given the chance, I am thankfully embracing the continued multi-tasking of gradually transitioning just a bit longer from one step to the next.
Such is my way of life for now. In the interim, some considerable progress has been made, sometimes quite substantial progress. At times, my day is even organized. Deadlines are actually met and in retrospect, I realize I have accomplished a lot more than anticipated.
I am picturing, like many circumstances, this transition period will be done before I know it. Still, I am pleased with the opportunity to make things easier for my now almost former team, while simultaneously designing a new lifestyle, almost nomadic, almost traveling, and largely flexible.
Currently, this is just about finding time for everything among translating, networking, eventual volunteering, travel, and some other projects. We shall see. Socializing (virtually and social distancing) is not to be forgotten. I am realizing the significance of this even more so, during a pandemic.
I am putting together my seemingly unruly schedule. My head is connecting with the pillow even more. There is a lot to be done but I already notice the flexibility in my choices. Now, I choose to work diligently on my new goals, both work and non-work related. Cheers to yet another chapter on managing me and to you for coming along. Your time is always appreciated.
…Cassandra Johnson has resigned her position with the association, her last day will be Monday, November 2. We are sorry to see Cassandra depart the association, but wish her well! Thank you-
Above is how the announcement to my colleagues read.
The letter to my Director read:
…Thanks for our talk! It has been a pleasure getting to work with you and I appreciate all your support. I am going to take this time to continue focusing my time around traveling and volunteering. I am thankful for the opportunity I have had to meet so many dynamic and committed people, both as members and as colleagues and I will miss you and [the company]. I would like my last day to be November 2, 2020. I thank you for some very well-spent time.
The nervousness was intense as I went back and forth on the moment I knew this was right.
I am grateful I was able to step through the experience when in some ways, life remains seemingly easy when it is more predictable. Equally, I am also truly grateful for the opportunity to work at this last company for five years, This is not to say work was simply easy, but there have been plenty of nice times with plenty of cool people.
Following an even lengthier time of working away in various offices, I am surprised at how I no longer seem to be as nervous as guessed I would be upon leaving. Opening this next chapter feels more like a personal evolution.
Everyone is different and every soul requires something uniquely personal to grow. It could be inside an office or far from one.
I am interestingly satisfied and hungry at the same time. There is no blueprint because none of our paths can be exactly the same. I have no one to follow exactly. Still I am seeing how excitement overtakes the nerves and I am sensing the possibilities in being even more myself. Now it is a week from yesterday (updated) that will be my last one at work and changing careers for me has become more unorthodox than ever. Still I have my fellow travelers like many of you and nomads alike who inspire me and let me know what is possible. More to come. More to grow. Thank you for your time spent with me.
This is what I have most likely concluded: I am just about two weeks away from walking away and stepping into my new uncertain schedule. I am excited and deeply nervous. Notice the two weeks or rather the two-week notice.
Will I work? I would say I am interestingly unprepared because I have very little lined up for stability aside from some very interesting prospects which I developed on my side hustling detours.
My calculation: Being nomadic with one or two home bases. That is ideal.
One note about the objective: I have already learned a lot about myself and my process when it comes to working for myself. It is both encouraging and scary.
The question is how will I sharpen my skills and finally turn into the leisure traveler and volunteer, who has big plans but a fairly open agenda.
Nothing is written in stone. Thank goodness. Will I be back to an orthodox life? I hope not. My goal may change, and I welcome new knowledge. My goal may become a variation on a theme.
Okay, but truly how vague is this blog entry going to get? 😊 You know the key elements: freelancing, nomadic, traveling-when-it-is-safe-to-do-so, and a pending notice to give up my current work life as I have known it. I am so accustomed to working a certain way, I sense life will be odd, yet I cannot ignore a growing excitement.
Right now, I also have my eye out for the gigs which are most supportive of me, as my true self, as my new lifestyle is growing. I need the support of all things less draining and which actually fill me with energy. I can tell the difference. This drive compels me, and I feel less washed out. I feel like I can work longer or like I do not always need to work so hard, and rest comes much more naturally. These days it sometimes just feels like exhaustion and I suspect that to be more so from the mental gymnastics.
For now, this is it. I laid out a lot in my related posts below but just as much as I do not know the details of what is next, I am leaving this open.
As anxious as I may be to take charge of my own livelihood,
I am quite fortunate to have a job with income and capabilities that allow me
to work from home while there are many who do not.
I will hold space here for the people who are being majorly
set back by the financial, emotional and mortal effects of this virus as it remains
with us. The unfathomable is that people have lost their jobs, that many are
unsheltered – homeless, without the option of self-isolating. The unthinkable
is that many jailed and detained people have limited options for social distancing
and hygienic practices. Still further, depending on what dwelling in which you
stay and in what part of the world you live – not going out and earning a
living and/or securing food means not providing the necessary resources for
yourself and your family, and the conditions don’t lend themselves at all to
staying several feet apart. I understand every person is a part of what helps
the world go around, all of us. There can be no mistake that each path of each
person goes into the framework of all our outcomes.
I take note to appreciate an overarching company leadership who
does not view it as trivial to give us the option to work from home, reevaluating
as the time comes. They let us have the choice to exercise healthy safe
precautions for ourselves and others. With my job, some go into the office, but
many of us are in our respective homes working steadily, reciprocally safeguarding
one another’s health.
With my gratitude, I will hold space for people like me,
working to maintain some regularity, persevering to continue to be a helpful employee
or employer, working to contribute and stay whole as a part of the whole world,
as much as we possibly can right now. I will encourage, especially my entrepreneurial
readers and those looking to grow and be promoted within their companies to
work on some skills they have been meaning to nurture more recently or even for
some time. I’m encouraging myself to go that route as well.
My workout routine has become home-based and another effort
to maintain some normalcy with not only physical healthiness but mental
healthiness as well. Fresh air from time to time and social distancing and much
hand washing, I’m reminding myself to heed the warnings, in the ways I can, as
not to be a danger to others or myself – as far as I know. I guess that’s one of the
things which can cause panic: the not knowing. However, with Eckhart Tolle, in
my studies, who helped guide me, following the loss of my father, I also have
some practices in place for living/honoring the present moment and working on self-improvement.
I highly recommend him and thank you again for stopping by. Stay safe, where
you may be. Know you are loved and a unique part of this world’s beautiful
presence.
I kept my promise to myself about two things I said I would
do this week, one being to attend the stock trader meetup and the other to
attend the eCommerce event that focuses on financial freedom. You can visit my blog from last week that talks
about the fear that comes with embarking on a path that’s more about your
passions. More than a rant, the piece turned into more of a motivation to me (and
hopefully to anyone that can identify with it). I called it a rant, but I think
that was in response to momentarily being a little put off that I’m not fully immersed
into my translating and community organizing lifestyle. The truth is; however,
I have never not had my passions somehow incorporated into my life. I still
believe in so many things that mean people being good to each other and my connections for volunteering both here and abroad continue
to be revisited through my network of friends and second families. Sometimes,
it’s easy to forget when you get distracted by the supposed everyday obligations.
So, as I continue down this road of truer meanings, I find that it’s a drive not just for me but also for anybody that can identify with me on my journey. It won’t just be about my growth. It will mean even more of me expanding my reach and assisting others (however long or short distance my actions may go). Accordingly, I am going to keep putting one foot outside the box, a bit at a time.
I just finished up another freelance translating assignment.
It was quite interesting. It was easier than some of my previous ones. I find
that I really do enjoy the tourism and travel related ones. There were four
short pieces I did for a client that spoke to the beauty of Mexico’s beaches,
family-friendly hotels and even a piece about the skin and hair health benefits
of coconut extract. I can already tell how being my own boss and setting my own
varied work and community outreach schedule is going to be exhilarating. (I
have an opportunity to be a linguist with an organization – but it wouldn’t
exactly be freelancing – perhaps I can also work with them).
My experience at the day/swing trader meetup was quite empowering as well. It turns out that I am sufficiently learning the market and that I have a swing trade strategy that is similar to a few guys in the group. Some of the them trade equities. Some trade options. One does Forex (foreign exchange) and there were others. I have more to study. I give myself about a 70% understanding of what was going on that night. For some reason, I was the only lady within the group that attended this particular meeting. I’m pretty certain I saw some in the group on meetup.com. I guess they just couldn’t make it that night. I wasn’t intimidated at all and the guys were very cool. Still, I would love to meet the other ladies as well. Maybe next time.
There was another meetup happening at the restaurant that same night, helping to create some momentary misdirection. (By the way, the other meetups I belong to are related to embassy events, history and culture, one for English-Spanish conversation language exchange, and one known as Networking after Work). As I chatted a bit more with the incorrect contacts, it was revealed that they were not the investor group. I heard poly and want to guess a polyamorous group. I very sweetly dismissed myself. The guy that had previously been behind me in the checkout line was a part of this group and was motioning for me to keep my seat (not realizing that I wasn’t supposed to be there at all). They were all nice, but I had stock guidance to get to.
The guys in the area of the restaurant that was closed off
and reserved made more sense. Seeing them with their laptops and the premiere
slide of the organizer’s presentation up on the wall made it clear this is
where I belonged😉
though it was the first time I’d joined such an event.
I opened my laptop to the stock spreadsheet that is my watch list and I will say I felt extremely comfortable outside of my comfort zone for the rest of that evening. Everyone was informed and informative on various levels and I participated sporadically. Paying close attention, taking a few notes, networking for some tips and finishing off my mini lemon tart, I made a mental note to continue trading equities that represent my values and that I understand. I’m good with learning a bit more about this day by day.
My intention leans towards financial freedom while I focus
on my passions. I have my lifetime investments but am open to trying new
things. I’m fascinated with how others have created ideal lifestyles as I’m
married to the possibilities of spending more time on creating, volunteering
and sharing more time with family and friends.
As I briefly mentioned earlier, regarding my second act of
stepping outside the box, I was intrigued by this eCommerce event that my
friend and I attended. This was just a day after the meetup and both events caused
me to think that there is something to be said for steadily challenging your
mind in the proper ways.
I did agree with my friend on how the presentation of this
event had a very sales pitchy feel to it. However, since we both know the results
behind it are possible, I decided to sign up for the company’s upcoming 3-day
workshop. I’m interested in what they say could be a potential side business,
allowing me to focus more fully on writing, translation, volunteering and
travel.
Following my previously posted “rant”, this is my latest update. That was a “rant” that may have incidentally coincided with reminding myself to explore and then explore some more. My heart seemed to take over my writing for a while back there. I gratefully embrace that because I don’t ever want to forget what means the most to me and to everyone with whom I have had the pleasure of connecting. Thank you again for sharing your time with me. Always appreciated!
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again soon!
