A Way Back

JULY 30, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON

Waking up in Cusco. Waking up in Guayaquil. Waking up in San Juan. Really, I do not mind waking up in my current home in the US, but there is definitely a pull towards the places I have been and especially resided in for a while.

Photo Pixabay

I have enjoyed DC for the time I have been living here, and I miss my home state and family as well. What I also plan for is living, playing and working between all of the above. I am excited to finally get to travel in the coming month. Let’s hope.

Hopefully we will all be able to move about as safely as possible.

I moved to this new home base about 15 years ago but did not know if I would stay here permanently, Initially my love was more than likely for the idea of moving to another big city apart from the one I lived in during college. I guess I should use the term district rather than city although eventual statehood is the aim.

I knew living here would be another interesting experience for me with a different variety of opportunities. This would be living as that everyday adult who did not have to worry about finals anymore😊

I compared what was to come via my love of reading (and campus life) before I had stocked up on so many of life’s up and downs. I fully looked forward to what was to come but braced myself for some difficulties as well. They did come, but through my efforts, I know I am fortunate to have met and spent time with all the people who have happened across my life. I count myself as lucky that I know people from different parts of this world. When I was a little girl, I imagined traveling but did not know how much a reality this could be for me.

Expecting to continue,  I am a lot less the pessimistic optimist I used to be in which I was full of hope but careful to brace myself. Naturally, we do not want to be vulnerable, and life is far from perfect.  Many times I  was surprised when some goals were completed. Then I realized I was surprised at my surprise because I did not realize I had also been prepping all along for some milestones not to be reached.  I have become better. I am realistic but I am still hopeful and now a little braver about going for what I want.

I will still need to adjust to a lot. I am still just getting acclimated to working for just me and mindset is interesting when you have gotten so used to working for other people. Though I am a fairly disciplined person, the deadlines are what helps the most in my now  location independent workdays. They are needed.

So there is one question I still consider. Since I have only explored this somewhat, I wonder how good I will be at navigating working while traveling, especially with my old habits of working too much. I am inspired by so many of you. Typically, I am wondering what work I should be getting done next.

Then again, perhaps this is more the old me relating to the demands of someone else’s company, their clients or customers and performance reviews. Sure, there were likeable elements, but no denying how non-workdays are looked forward to by many employers and employees for a reason.

Currently, I still have pressure but a notably different push when completing assignments for an individual client or agency as I am doing now.

Well, there is no rush to figure everything out all at once. Just getting back out on my first trip after a long hiatus has me excited. I won’t be working. No hurry to get it right on this first time out. Just in a hurry to see my family again.

What May Come

MAY 31, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON

Soccer reminds me when I was green with inexperience and my efforts to absorb as much as possible, as quickly as possible.

I was a little late to the idea of playing sports in the name of school spirit and soon realized the tryouts were more so a reunion for everyone who had been playing on the local area club teams. Even players who didn’t know each other leaned into the familiarity of their similar past experiences. Their reaction to the others:  Sizing us up (good and/or bad) and keeping a log accordingly. Perhaps this is how a lot of life’s premiere meetings go.

Thank goodness for the maturity we can eventually give each other and ourselves to grown, though knowingly, the room for growth is not always promised. There are some lessons.

Before adding soccer, my interests were elsewhere and varied across the map. My drive towards them was also perhaps somewhat to the point of obsession. (In a lot of respects, I am still this way.)

Soccer was simply not to be my focus yet. Even falling out of the loop in my recent years) I note how once I decided to go out for the junior varsity team at 14…

…well let’s just say (as they say), some things, simply become etched in your heart for the duration.

How did my obsessions (or maybe intense focus is a better description) play out in my formative years? I think certain focus is needed in a time where we’re feeling both accepted and unaccepted, dealing with both the pressures of figuring out who we are and who we want to become while in some cases being lauded and in other cases being hurt. School can that fun challenging place. What makes us become who we are? We soon see.

My focus included losing myself in classical music practice and concerts (which lasted from 5th grade into college), falling in love with the globe very early on and what it would mean to travel and how I adored meeting and learning about the guys and girls who would venture to our high school from abroad.

Going from a smallish city to a massive college (Ohio State) meant I got to befriend and meet countless people from practically everywhere.

Learning to speak Spanish and all the activities this entailed, such as being Spanish club Secretary also called in a lot of my attention. More of my interests did not really seem to match my personality, yet we are all dynamic creatures, even if we too sometimes find it less demanding to fit ourselves into the box.  

I cannot include all the quirks and day to day activities nor all my hobbies in which I found myself drawn but I write all this to share another realization of how capable we are of so much variety in our lives. Our skills complement our efforts, and a good deal of our work can be psychological. The mindset we emulate for early ventures and what we decide we can do from both reinforcement and determination tug us forward or limit our trajectory. I was reminded of the naiveté I had when I first stepped onto the soccer field. Yet I was determined. Being a library nerd (ahem, it is not a bad thing), I checked out books for drills and Pelé’s autobiography. I was determined soccer wise but I would only make it so far. It was a hell of a way so I cannot look back on those moments feeling dejected. Disappointments intermingle themselves around our victories.

Sounds not quite the romantic underdog story but I remember the surprise when I did score on the seasoned players and how I became better despite the late start. The realization I could be a part of something for which I held a passion still leans into the dedication and willingness I can dare to embrace with a little or a lot of fallibility, whatever the case may be.

Thank you for taking the time to share in part of my at times cliché but needed journey. Until next time. 😊

Back to Back

APRIL 29, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON

One step at a time.

I am gathering from people who I know personally and from those I do not know at all, how many of us imagined improvement on the other side of the pandemic lockdown.

I implemented some personal changes and likewise hoped to propel forward.

When faced with the challenge of being denied our normal everyday activities and having so much more time to reflect, there were to be some emotional, physical, or financial shifts. Like many, I hoped for the best. Of course, emotions ebb and flow and we went through the natural range of emotions.

I saw a lot of people who wanted to enhance their situations, whether those be emotionally, financially, or otherwise. They realized they were not in the right relationships, work environments, or carrying the right goals. Many people more readily focused on their entrepreneurial aspirations, especially with how apparent it became that income was not always guaranteed. Nothing seemed as guaranteed as before. We went through unimaginable events. Some parts of us became more resilient. Some relationships became stronger, and, in some spaces, work became more efficient.

I suspect there is some underestimation if anyone feels there was no personal shift. How could we help but be transformed?

Image Credit: Forbes

We are most likely not the same, though we may try to participate in the same activities.

Naturally, we will try to resume what we were doing and how we went about those tasks, but a question mark may now hang over our heads. We found out there were some of life’s elements we could do without and  we found alternatives to others. People wanted to start new relationships, grow old ones, create businesses, and enhance skills. I know a lot of us dreamed of doing so much once we got back to “normal”.

What is interesting is (as my one and only dating coach) was saying: We think more about what we would be doing if so much had not been taken away from us, and in that respect, we probably over imagine. How much more we would be engaging with people and living out our lives. How deeply we would have dug into our aspirations if only not for current obstacles and very real trauma holding us back. In a way, this is true. We have evidence of how really wanting something can drive us to making goals happen, eventually or initially.

I think we are fortunate, in a way, if future fantasies refuse to turn us loose. I am that way for better or worse. I am grateful for the current pleasant moments and all the people I get to enjoy and within that I am looking forward to how much more we will be sharing and how much more our lives will expand.

At times, we however find the reality of what we get buried in is trying to get through the day-to-day of making sure the bills are paid while doing work that can become challenging in not so good ways. Of course, the scenario is not always so, but days can pass by unwittingly.

As the time comes to start transitioning back to “normal”, we may want to look a little closer. Normal is okay in many ways but I am also finding it rather useful to challenge what is “normal” gradually and consistently. We have to question the status quo if we want to grow.

I am admittedly a bit overwhelmed about not being able to avoid some of the routines I had to do in my everyday life about a year ago. Therefore, I am even more compelled to challenge what is considered normal. Normal has a tendency to put people in a box. For example, you find employers or colleagues saying we do it that way because we have always done it that way and in the worst cases, you find what was considered “normal” being used to subjugate and oppress people.

I do not want to just go with the flow. Consequently, I am taking this one step at a time because I need to have questions. Many of us may have them. I am pleased to change some things little by little just as I finally shifted to being that self-employed freelancing individual who I long imagined I would prefer to be. What works for me is not what works for everyone and our goals and perspectives can shift. Self-performance review wise, as I previously mentioned, is something I can now enjoy. I am still digging in to embrace the rest of everything which is me.  My self-talk and advice to anyone who may be interested is to break your aspirations down into smaller steps. If you are feeling overwhelmed at any time, the full picture can be a bit much. I have heard this from a lot of influencers, so I am not sure exactly where it originates. I am glad for the reiteration because sometimes I forget. First things first.

Boss

March 31, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON

My days are predictable and then they are unpredictable. I am able to get my fitness in very regularly and sleep well and then some days, my tasks have to get juggled a little differently. Meet today. Wednesday. What is this sleep and I promised myself dinner would be better than lunch (although ironically lunch involved fruit and dinner was pizza, but you see what I mean 😉).

Chilling and casually ticking tasks off my list or rapidly typing away. In either scenario, I am feeling at ease. I adore my new schedule. My worst complaint and grumbling as a freelancer does not even come close to touching the upside. I now don’t feel pulled in several uneven directions. My multitasking is there but she is tailor-made for me, now that I have left my office job.

Today had me working nonstop (from the night before) until I met my targets and deadlines but on days like this, when I am working particularly hard, I notice I have more peace of mind than the days I was not my boss. Now, of course I do have to answer to deadlines and consequently to some people, but there is such a different aura in being able to rest whenever I am done and not having to answer to any extra work issues.

Since I worked on getting my official certifcation, I have always been glad I started on the path to becoming a freelancer. My previous jobs did enhance the skills I need to progress and handle work so I give credit where credit is due and acknowlege the fun and perks of having an employer.

At the moment, what I am particularly taking away from previous work is how I should be incorporating a much better to-do list for myself. I could be doing what I did for others for myself. 😊 I also miss friends/coworkers but I am much more excited to stay in touch when we can without work-related items pulling at us.

I have not wavered although some days are noticeably downward emotionally and nonwork related. I think that is human and natural. I am excited to do more, so I am working on my own performance review to move me and my business goals a bit further each week.

Therefore I will be working on other projects like writing and as I mentioned, connecting and reconnecting with like-minded and/or supportive people. I see some travel in our future.

For now, as I wait and plan and save, I will be having more fun with my long and short-term investments. Currently, life is about staying in touch with folks, translating, teaching and learning. I like to stay open to see what interesting people and circumstances happen to be next. My main objective is still taking care of my passions and getting to see my friends and family whenever I can.

Reminders Welcome

MARCH 29, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON

I had a moment where I realized the need to continue connecting and reconnecting with more like-minded people. I had an acquaintance I had not been in touch with for a number of years who recently and ultimately unconvincingly tried to let me know he would be so excited if we could “get a chance to catch up”.  He made it seem almost urgent.

image credit Canva

I do also want to be mindful of not dismissing him for his behavior. Arguably, I am particularly set in my ways as well so being different from each other is not a mark against either of us. His particular outreach however in trying to get my latest contact info was more about adding me to his financial planning prospect list. I had no problem with the product (well perhaps in the limiting perspective he had about it) but mostly, I had a problem with the pretense of this being a true mutual reconnection.

A little introspection was next. Not necessarily making the right judgments will rapidly take you there. During our conversation, I quickly determined he had not really heard my perspective. At the minimum he was barely acknowledging it. I am glad I did not expend much more energy catching him up on what I have been up to over the past several years. Often it is not all that difficult to tell when someone is invested in what is significant to us. A few moments can give this away.

He definitely seemed more interested in moving to the next thing, which put the focus on his ventures. He briefly asked what I did for freelancing while his next inquiry sounded pretty par for the course for capturing leads at a networking event. Networking is needed and nice but this felt so out of place with how excited he spoke on soley just being able to catch up and chat.

I am glad I instantly recognized the lack of space for me. Now, there is this appreciation of being so aware of those who do support me and who I support. Why not channel my energy there? Sometimes we can get caught up in trying to prove ourselves to others and even to ourselves. I almost went there with him to let him know there are more ways than just his way. Yes, there is a time to choose our battles. Yes, there are times we need to knock over the hurdles and be seen. We figure it out.

Fortunately, my circle now is of like-minded people including those who think differently, but still really get me. It was intriguing how this acquaintance reconnected and reminded me of leaning into limitations. There are so many non-limiting connections and people I still click with from the past so perhaps this was a good reminder of individuals who I simply will not get, who are not meant to get me. I appreciate the people here who share my interests and appreciate the support in general.

Passport

February 27, 2021 by Cassandra Johnson

home for now

If you are at all like me, try not to be discouraged. There is a light at the end of this tunnel.

2020 was an immensely tough year for so many people and we still have some battles to win, but I am grateful we can inspire each other.

Resilience will be telling. Resilience has been telling. How nice it will be to also get back to traveling in the safest ways. Perhaps Spring and/or Summer will be reminiscent of their past seasons. For me, this will mean getting to see more family and friends in the States and seeing some old and new places abroad as well, while revisiting and meeting more people.

Volunteering locally is on the agenda again.

I do not know that I can always wake up inspired, although my attitude is generally optimistic while expecting challenges.

Here, at least for the moment, I am going to push my momentum forward and on the days where the challenges are huge (as they have especially been for many of us), my past momentum will remind me to push or keep my focus in some small but useful ways.

I am excited to get back to some normalcy minus the normalcy which is status quo, not enough, or not okay.

We can be appreciative of what brought us success and measure what can bring us improvement. We can be grateful for who and what we have in our lives. Thank goodness for progress and doing some things a little differently.

Cheers to moving about the world again – soon I hope and moving forward. Plus, it does not hurt, btw, that today was brilliant. Chévere. Birthday Number… More to come!

Good to Know!

FEBRUARY 25, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON
Image Credit: Canva

I think of gratitude in relation to where I have been, all I have been able to experience, and where I am now. Joy and pain steer us into creating our own destinies. One of my gratitude prayers (saying thanks instead of requests currently) calls to mind how interesting it is to be living at this time. How intriguing to spend time with so many other people on our converging paths. How did we get here? How did they get there? Overthinking maybe, but the thoughts intrigue me in the special moments and in the too rough times that shape our lives.

Sharing roots intrigues me just like the friends and acquaintances we cross paths with for a lifetime or for certain seasons.  My little brother surprised with an amazing gift yesterday and I imagine how fortunate we are to have family as friends.  If I didn’t have my three brothers, I would be lost in this world.

I soon realized how the gift is something I would not get around to getting for myself. I have to preempt a different blog post to share my overwhelming reaction. While I like to think I have self-care in mind and do the things that mean taking care of myself overall (though I can do better) there are certain actions I will put off or never get around to doing, so when someone thinks of me and really gets me and thinks what will make me smile and bring some comfort… I just have to admit it brought some tears of joy.

I imagine most of us don’t always think of ourselves when caught up in the day-to-day grind. We may not even realize we are in a grind because life is okay. There are a lot of good moments and it is okay enough. He reminded me how nice it is to feel even nicer. When people look after you, the feeling is nice. When people see you and really see you, life is nice. This February has already been unforgettable. This birthday has been so peaceful, even a couple days before it gets here.

New Year Renewed

JANUARY 27, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON

I am back to embracing the idea of resolutions, even if it means just digging deeper into existing goals with more dedication.

For some time, I have shied away from putting a label on the new goals I have each year and the goals I have regularly. Resolution sounds so final.

I can be both idealistic and sternly logical when I need to be, but either way I had somehow become simply superstitious about labeling my goals as resolutions. Setting a 1-year target, corresponding with the start of a new year is exciting. The flip side is daunting.

I think some of the pressure may be unwittingly linked to the idea of a resolution needing to be completed in one year. As distractions naturally happen over a day, a week, or more, I notice discouragement can possibly creep in.

I was thinking now may be a good time to revisit my perspective and how I take on my projects. A lot has changed for me personally and we have all been through a lot in 2020. Measuring my progress in a variety of ways has helped me to stay focused and especially encouraged when I am not focused. I know something has gone awry whenever a goal starts feeling like a job.

The best rework I did for myself was breaking my steps down into even smaller ones. Then I could really take a look at what works for me. As I am impressed by friends and family, I realize we do not always recall all the momentum and accomplishments we reach along the way. They can be so significant, but easily put away.

Goals are allowed to change or be completely replaced.

I am feeling more open to the New Year corresponding with continued projects and mainly just newer milestones.

What is also getting accomplished is the steps leading up to the bigger ones. What was accomplished was leaving my job and organizing my time better.

Goals are considerably interesting these days. They are there to be revisited. I am welcoming the flexibility as long as there is progress and/or reflection.

Image Credit: Canva

Learning Life

DECEMBER 24, 2020 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON

There is so much to overwhelm my new work process right now if I decide to go that route. Getting to know myself as an independent worker and deciphering the protocol of what I should do with an LLC are high on my list. There are a lot of freelancing and entrepreneurial resources out there which are free and some not so free. I was fortunate to finish up one webinar recently, offered through a freelance translation and interpretation group in my area.

The webinar was right on time. I am a free agent now. As a full-time freelancer, I can presently focus on what was just recently, a very time-consuming, yet loved side hustle. I subsequently realized I could also be very afraid of what doing my taxes might now look like.

Image Credit – Pixabay

Fortunately, the speaker managed to ease our tax-anxious minds. She began with an informal survey of the group and like me, most of the interpreters and translators found tax preparation to be quite daunting (moderately to extremely stressful).

As she focused on how people in our positions can navigate our taxes, daunting became doable and something about her approach reminded me of the proper way to acquire knowledge in general. I need to continue taking my time. Sometimes it will be fast, but I do not mind getting to know everything I need to know to continue helping others as I revisit all my goals.

The presenter turns out to be an interpreter turned tax pro who got to this point via some frustrating experiences. There were no tax advisors in her space (in our space) with the ability to really explain why she owed taxes in some years and in other years, she did not.

You know my interests are quite varied, seemingly random, and I am excited about all the information there is to pick up along the way. Moving forward or sometimes back, I’m seeing the potential in some webinars, books, some YouTube, life’s teachers and life’s lessons. I am more properly checking off my list and adding to it.

Life Curious

NOVEMBER 30, 2020 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON
2019 DC Embassy Chef Challenge

Finally, I had the chance to get back to working on some of my additional interests, despite my good problems of having an abundance of freelance work and intermittent not so sleep-fulfilled nights.

When I first moved to the Washington, D.C area from the Midwest, I volunteered with learners of English as a Second Language.

Seems like a lifetime ago, but I also recall I was a part of the “Conversation Language Program” at Ohio State. I was fairly free with my schedule back in college (though it was filled with working, classes and hanging with friends). I worked through times of coping while at the same time enjoying myself in a lot of ways. Life never pretended to be just black and white. There were challenging times to mirror the mostly delightful ones. Overwhelmingly, I was free in the way I was willing to explore all my interests. Seeing all the opportunities available to me, I knew many of them would be international in scope and involve languages. Though not inclusive of all my passions, these interests would absolutely take up most of my intrigue.

Fast forward to now. Recently, as I started teaching on a virtual English learning platform and otherwise assisting language learners in various ways, memories of both college and my first couple of years in D.C. played on my mind. My interests were piqued by being able to now work with someone in a more tech-savvy way and the value the students and the company place on the program is refreshing. I am on the platform just a little here and there, as my schedule permits, I find it quite nice that diligent teachers can do well.. I hope to get amazingly organized. Someday. The old school part of me recalls just being impressed with downloadable lesson plans I could walk through with my co-teacher on-site, in a classroom.

Primarily being from a small city, I will always remember college as the global introduction I welcomed from the world. I was fortunate to be in a space early on including both domestic and international friends and acquaintances and finally fortunate to be traveling and sharing. I look forward to meeting more people when I continue and especially sharing our distinctions and how similar we all tend to be.