Distracted

March 28 by Cassandra Johnson

I am in the Politics and Prose bookstore, in my now DC neighborhood and I wander to the back wall of the travel section.

The last time I was there, I picked up the Lonely Planet edition of Cuba, a book showcasing the off-the beaten-path places to see in the country which still are noted accordingly, and the ones which are not because of the ironic knowledge. Still I like both the tried and true and the little known.

Going back to the office was challenging after 10 days in Cuba, however this was never so real as how I felt after living in Peru and Bolivia.

Not being ready to be back in the US and facing off with the reverse culture shock I had been forewarned about, I realized I could temporarily transition back by staying in a traveler’s hostel before securing another DC apartment. I would also continue my search for desired NGO and/or development work which I was for now more certain I had the field experience.

Years ago, my horizon had been so broadened that I was ironically too open-minded about my own chances and how people would see me back in the States. The ready circumstances or chances I had to orchestrate the next steps was not how I imagined them to be. Perhaps my heart was just too much abroad. Perhaps, I was unfortunate not to get the chances I needed in time.

I did work. I became ill and after finally getting better in the ER and hospital, I leaned towards what was supposedly stable though dulling to my senses. Unfortunately, the work was similar to what I only wanted to do for a little time when I moved to this area years ago, before doing more with international development. I was at another non-profit trade association and unfortunately, I became skillful at the department in which I worked and my knowledge of the operations as I was inclined to do. I imagine most of us are inclined to master our day-to-day responsibility and what is expected of us, so I became proficient at those operations and once again unfortunately, my tenure geared more towards the inner workings of a trade association. Perhaps in a fortunate way, I had to seek out my own international endeavors and my life still mirrored the experiences I sought out during and after my college years. My friends were international and locally from different backgrounds and I was friends with those who represented the mainstream and my own minority background as well.

Perhaps seeking out my own development work here and disaster relief abroad has molded me into being more appreciative of what I have been able to do and kept me from being burned out. Now I get the chance to select from a second passion and do that as I travel. Still, I recall the confusion of coming back and trying to make everything fit and employers keeping me to the box that I submitted to as well because though the work was something to which I was acclimated and had many perks, this was not my first choice. I dedicated about 15 years to organizations that did not truly speak to me. Thank goodness for travel, cool coworkers, other interests on the side and a willpower, though delayed at times, which will not let go.