MARCH 29, 2021 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON
I had a moment where I realized the need to continue connecting and reconnecting with more like-minded people. I had an acquaintance I had not been in touch with for a number of years who recently and ultimately unconvincingly tried to let me know he would be so excited if we could “get a chance to catch up”. He made it seem almost urgent.
I do also want to be mindful of not dismissing him for his behavior. Arguably, I am particularly set in my ways as well so being different from each other is not a mark against either of us. His particular outreach however in trying to get my latest contact info was more about adding me to his financial planning prospect list. I had no problem with the product (well perhaps in the limiting perspective he had about it) but mostly, I had a problem with the pretense of this being a true mutual reconnection.
A little introspection was next. Not necessarily making the right judgments will rapidly take you there. During our conversation, I quickly determined he had not really heard my perspective. At the minimum he was barely acknowledging it. I am glad I did not expend much more energy catching him up on what I have been up to over the past several years. Often it is not all that difficult to tell when someone is invested in what is significant to us. A few moments can give this away.
He definitely seemed more interested in moving to the next thing, which put the focus on his ventures. He briefly asked what I did for freelancing while his next inquiry sounded pretty par for the course for capturing leads at a networking event. Networking is needed and nice but this felt so out of place with how excited he spoke on soley just being able to catch up and chat.
I am glad I instantly recognized the lack of space for me. Now, there is this appreciation of being so aware of those who do support me and who I support. Why not channel my energy there? Sometimes we can get caught up in trying to prove ourselves to others and even to ourselves. I almost went there with him to let him know there are more ways than just his way. Yes, there is a time to choose our battles. Yes, there are times we need to knock over the hurdles and be seen. We figure it out.
Fortunately, my circle now is of like-minded people including those who think differently, but still really get me. It was intriguing how this acquaintance reconnected and reminded me of leaning into limitations. There are so many non-limiting connections and people I still click with from the past so perhaps this was a good reminder of individuals who I simply will not get, who are not meant to get me. I appreciate the people here who share my interests and appreciate the support in general.