You are welcome here

April 30, 2025 by Cassandra Johnson

A person needs time to get her bearings, more at certain times than others. Sometimes, this is barely at all, as it was arriving at the Guatemala City Airport a few days ago. Sometimes this is a lot, as it was trying to fly out of Cartagena to Panama City (more on this in a May post).

I was happy to easily be able to navigate through La Aurora Airport and access all the things I needed like free public Wi-Fi and the options to choose between Uber or taxis. At the moment, taxis won in convenience and easy immediate access.  I told myself I would make up the cost using Uber for my departure. Perhaps. When it comes to airport drop offs and when I am not walking within the city, Uber has been a good choice in Colombia, Peru and Mexico. I imagine Guatemala will be too.

Before leaving the airport however, I just needed a place to sit with my computer, I needed a coffee shop (aka hot chocolate and/or cappuchino shop) with snacks where I could gather my thoughts and my tummy. Oh yeah, also notable: I would need an ATM to take out local cash to pay the taxi driver and or nearby vendors as well as prepare for places which may only take cash/efectivo. The independent coffee shop was along the way, right alongside the exit outside of the airport. I would work on my freelance translation work while waiting a bit longer for check-in time.

A few local people stopped by, asking If I needed various items, such as a car rental or a Sim card. A car rental salesman left me with his card. I was straight forward with some others about already having a place to stay and not actually needing a ride at this very moment, but maybe a little later. We smiled and they complimented my Spanish.

I lost the attention of a few other tourists, (European or American, I believe), who had been looking at me from the time I went through customs. As I settled into my drink and chips, I briefly thought, now how boring my calmness and comfort must have become. One smiled, but more to himself.

It was also nice to simply have a little small talk with the Guatemalan people at the airport, perhaps getting to know a little more about the place and chatting some before heading over to my rental.

The baristas had waited on me so quickly and did not know how ready I was not to have a lid on my cup and to chill and eat in. I have become accustomed to things being a little different and being able to expect or welcome these things has brought a smile to many of the people I get to meet. Being chill, patient and accepting is a foundational vibe in Mexico, Peru, Colombia, Panama and Guatemala. The vibe is contagious.

You can stay with me

March 30, 2025 by Cassandra Johnson

Country to country. Now I enter the hostels and hotels expecting to meet travelers from all over the country I am visiting, and from any country.

Everyday life is different now. The funny thing is I am enjoying this but also looking forward to visiting home too. More ironic, I am a resident in name only, for I am officially traveling full time. Though my mission, this objective, has taken many deviations, I am still working to the same point. I want to travel and see a lot of the world as I dreamed about as a young girl while still, (from my latter goals) I want to live abroad for half of the year and back home for the other half. Getting to spend six months hanging out with friends and family is just as exciting as being a digital nomad for another part of the year *touring and hanging out in these places too. In fact, I want them to come with me and visit me often. Chris was part of it too.

My other normal began in 2010/2011 when I participated in Pisco Sin Fronteras and followed up with intermittent travel abroad to several other countries from the US on limited vacations. New normal is not bad in that I can now be away for such an extended period of time, but I am also reminded of the need for options. So I have a lot more work to do and per Doing A Thing, I am getting more done, welcoming a potential additional job while figuring out which climates and features suit me best for work and socializing. While Peru is my first choice, being in Colombia and other trips is informing me more. We will see.  I have a bit more work to do, in order to also spend a lot more time not doing so. 😉

Looking Back

December 31, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

This is also a work in progress like the previous post. (I am still dealing with some questions for myself).

If I am honest, I have not lived in the United States for a while. I have been away since November 2023, except for visits in both April and August 2024. I was still in the US (in San Juan, Puerto Rico) when I started, but a few months later I landed in Merida, Mexico where I stayed throughout Christmas 2023 and New Year’s, into my February birthday. Not until April was I ready to leave Merida, for a short stop in Houston, TX, before getting back to Mexico to see two more recommended cities. Guadalajara (was not the best experience among so many other great ones). Still, my curiosity and aim to have and share nice experiences with others around the world was my focus.

Following Oaxaca, Mexico (which I loved), I revisited Peru (this was about the third time in some cities). I thoroughly enjoyed myself with a lot more income at the time, and mostly living my dream of everyday life as an expat there. I was there for 3 months. I have wanted this since I volunteered there in part of 2010 and 2011. I enjoyed volunteering in Bolivia in 2011 as well, but Peru stole the show.

After Peru, I went to Colombia (Medellin was the first city and where I stayed most of my allotted 90 days – until next time). Bogota was just six days (really nice, still) and Cali and Ipiales were the one-day stopovers I mentioned last time. An added note: When traveling through Colombia, I particularly enjoyed the travel hack of overnight buses as they saved money with one night of lodging not needed, and most hours spent sleeping. I had been aiming for this since I flew between the US, Mexico, Peru and into Colombia.

Okay, well, sleeping on a bus is not the most comfortable feel (facts) but as another precaution, I kept the trips to about 11 hours or less (allowing for added stops). *I remember longer trips from my past and they can get old. I also like the safety of arriving in a place in the daylight, at home or abroad. I was advised to do that my first time in Lima. The only unfortunate circumstance back then was how every decent DC flight landed around 10 pm. Fortunately all went well, and the remote city I later reached was in the accompaniment of another future volunteer/fast friend. We planned to meet in Lima and go from there.

I am now back in Ecuador. I only visited Guayaquil for a few days in 2019, but now I have been able to check out Quito and Cuenca.

Next: I was recently thinking about Paraguay or Uruguay (this would be my first time in each). I am really excited about Brazil but a little worried about suddenly discontinuing to use Spanish and checking out parts of Paraguay and Uruguay would give me the continued opportunity to use Spanish. However, I do think this could mean survival Portuguese and some important phrases will be a fun activity to add to my more fun to-do lists.

Solo Together

October 29, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

I have learned not to give too much to my introversion as I do also love community. I have also learned to recognize my solo needs, to be better to myself.

I do enjoy bonding when I am not feeling inexplicably self-conscious. Alternately, I also acknowledge my resilience to regroup and revitalize myself.

What has been most interesting to me lately, however, is how I have come to notice similar solo needs in a number of other people. The number is larger than I would have expected, and realizing this has made me more empathetic, so apart from hanging out with them, dancing with them, chatting with them, drinking with them (some flirting)… I have felt another type of connection.

By collecting my thoughts and tranquility when I am alone, I remind myself of what I really want and need, and I remind myself of the fact that I need to try much more of this out before I can be certain if what I need or want still stands. Minds may change. Therefore, I need that alone time, good for such thinking and also for clearing my mind (not overthinking and just being still).

Sometimes I need more of the quietness than others, but I have recently taken note that I am not so alone in this. Ironically, in the simile of needing those inward moments, I suspect other people may need this too.  After almost a year of countless accommodations and interactions as a digital nomad, I do not think I have just coincidentally been vicinity booking along with a large number of other introverts. I do not think so, because in other instances, I notice what seems real extroversion on the part of a number of outgoing people who naturally seem to receive energy from interacting with others. Yet, I have caught them “escaping” too. I have caught them escaping the noise, whether it be very literal or figurative. I have caught them in a variety of ways in their own quests for solitude.

Adalia Aborisade’s video on how to travel as an Introvert really spoke to me and what we may do or feel from going inward. Me being someone who also likes hanging out, seeing the world and meeting people, she and the other viewers reiterated for me that sometimes we get away from who we truly are because our true selves are not accepted or expected, especially when we are out there exploring our overall dreams. It is not uncommon to be told you need to participate in the group at all times. They also reminded me it is not uncommon to be misinterpreted and cajoled. I think I just judged myself too strictly thinking I could no longer carry the introverted label, when a part of this actually seems to be welcomed by most people to varying levels. I am also reclaiming some of my shyness, though it may appear differently now. My nature has not changed at the core.

I see people looking for their solo spaces and moments as I especially spend my traveling time between hotels and hostels. People were looking for moments and spaces on the terrace, in the kitchen, in an extra room, in their own room or a shared room in their bunk bed while others were out touring or in other parts of the hostel or hotel. People were even randomly hoping for a moment at breakfast or in front of a large screen community television.

Someone reading. Someone gazing and thinking (seemingly daydreaming) while reclining. Someone listening, laughing  to videos on their phone. Someone delving into work on their computer, but as they would in their own private office with no boss.

I see the people. I see us. Moments apart and common bonds in solitude. These are the moments we recollect ourselves, maybe even forget the pending issues or worries of our days, maybe even finally come up with a solution after we have had some time to relax away from what has to be done or decided.

Perhaps, this is just a much needed mental break or another moment to help us be honest with ourselves and to be ourselves.

Between Time

September 29/30, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

My post was initially going to begin about money lessons learned, after spending quite a sum in Peru. However, I enjoyed the freedom it brought me, and I also realized that what I was beginning to write was a thinly veiled manner of beating myself up. So I have to find the healthy medium between blaming the powers that be, blaming myself and realizing there is a whole lot I have to contend with, being a freelancer, just as there were many other things I had to deal with being an employee. I note how I have worked really hard in both circumstances, so the lamenting may come but I cannot allow for it to stay.

First of all, I am willing to keep up the work. Mini breaks and this more chiller way of life is helpful. I just need to lean into the tweaks. So I have pretty soberly come face to face with the idea of adding to my workload as a means to eventually not having such a big workload. but wait, hear me out, as I want to pay off every bill, hold on to my investments, trade and just have my current freelancing and side hustles as extra cash that are not needed. I am looking for a low-maintenance completely remote job to meet my goal and, hear me out, for all those reasons above.

Added bonus: I am starting from a place of still hoping to continue my traveling dreams. 😊 So the search is notably hitting different. I feel like such a job will be a bonus to an already palpable life, much less like the times I applied within my country, (though these will be US employers) . . . much less like the times of feeling I needed to make my bones and eventually giving into my way of attempting to meet the expectations of the people and the work environment, which can be fruitless with some managerial situations as I learned more than a few times. I would get to my tasks after so many others and if we put ourselves last along with others putting themselves last is an inevitably deteriorating combination.

So easy to lose a balance.

I also noted an inherent issue with my freelancing relationship in which allotting time towards work cuts into time I can make money easier and quicker in other ways, since a lot of time is then used chasing payments. Also noted: I could be learning on working on managing my freelancing contracts better. Advice welcome here.

So far, I have revisited one of my favorite sites, Idealist.org along with a ton of others which is quite daunting but encouraging, depending on how inspired or discouraged I am at the particular moment. 😊

Being Digital. Being Nomad.

August 31, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

The ups and downs. I think my sanity has been saved by no longer having to report to my second to last boss. I realized part of the struggle was not just proving myself to her, but increasingly more apparent, proving myself to me.

I realized, after several years, at a few different jobs, that attaining 100% on a performance review was designed to never be attainable. The deeper problem with such a scenario is how many people can either get buried while unsuccessfully trying to get there or ultimately just feel defeated. I am sure there is a healthier way to look at this as well as a healthier work environment where this is not a thing. Unfortunately, the luck of us landing in a healthy environment with good management may not be as attainable as matching our geography with our skills and who decides to hire us for the right amount of money? Also, will that end up matching our passions?

My second to last boss was daunting, and perhaps me having more credentials than her played a part in her reminding me/reminding us that she was on some imaginary upper level rather than our equal level. Then… she increasingly toyed with and finally crossed the lines of bigotry from the time I worked for her from 2015 through 2019, and even after I changed departments in my final year at the company in 2020, I felt the target on me. In the moments I instinctively countered her, I awaited the revenge *whether it be from the COO we both reported to or from her directly.

The fight I had in me to remember my credentials and all the praise I got from the members and customers we helped was really a fight to remember that I was good enough and not always just as good as the last thing I did. Some good coworkers also really encouraged me through those days. We found it mutually necessary.

There was a struggle to remember all the hard work I put in as well, because as usual, sometimes life gets in the way  (we do not just have work to contend with but a whole array of items we need to survive and be a happy healthy person). Life plays out differently at different times. Look at any one of us and each person’s insecurities and vulnerabilities present uniquely and again vary depending on the moment.

So there I was with her and that structure and here I am without it. Being digital and being nomad has saved me from aging ungracefully (lol) and I have likewise been saved from feeling indescribably perpetually less than her or others.  I also see myself as more capable than I knew. I forget. Life reminds me. I see how okay we should be at owning our accomplishments.

Thinking of the boss even back then, I found it better not to carry a grudge, because I noticed that anger blinded me more than acknowledging the concurring sadness and hurt I felt at being disregarded and dejected. It is easier and more stereotypical to be deemed an angry person (that made it somehow easier for her to double down) than it was to give me the raw despondent feelings of being human and heartbroken at poor treatment.

I remember a guy once ghosting me and reappearing to the tune of a text and email that simply stated: “How mad are you at me?” Within those moments, I realized it was easier for him to face an angry caricature of me than the true person he had disappointed. “…mad…?” How about “How sad and/or disappointed are you?”

There seems to be a lot more I know about myself. There also seems to be so much more I could uncover. Being nomadic, I am possibly learning more about all of life than I ever thought I would.

78 Dance Partners

July 29, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

I was looking for live music. I was looking for DJs. I was looking for the occasional cocktail but mostly I was panning out for camaraderie and a chance to continue dancing.  Another part of the life plan decided: Dancing will continue to be my natural high, my ready escape and relaxed synchronicity between my mind, attitude and body.

Navigating my way back through Peru tells me what I need for a healthy life, or I guess, rather for a considerably healthier life. As noted here, I have reintroduced one element which comes through dancing. I really got to feel into this during college. Sometimes, I forget because of circumstances. I was last in DC before starting to travel again and there were times when everything added up: Right places, right music, right price and willing friends.

The combination was not as easy as it had been during university which seemed readily conducive to more divey bars/clubs and or upscale-like venues and dancing events. Still, there was definitely a time, in the middle of my DC life when a group of us were frequenting one neighborhood or another like U Street or Dupont Circle. I was in my element. Later on unfortunately, this was not so much. I could understand why. A lot of schedules, logistics and motivation (in which others additionally feel self-conscious while dancing) were present.

Then, coinciding with my first trip to Pisco, Peru, I unexpectedly found myself in the company of many people locally and from various countries who I would accompany to discos and bars on nights and weekends. Music and dance also permeated our volunteer home/headquarters.

As I started my third time back in Peru, I was not so sure about getting to enjoy music and connect with people. This time, I had picked up travel again in San Juan and then spent some time in Mexico. Notably, Puerto Rico was very satiating since there is a big dance scene, but I did not get this immediate fulfillment when I moved on to Merida, Mexico (though I love this place). Coincidentally, I had not danced much in Mexico, my time more so playing out with friends in places without ideal dance floors or music. (I like a variety but hanging out plus dancing was not coming to me).

Then, these last two weeks happened, and it was a mirror of my co-volunteer time back in Pisco and Cusco, but this time as a digital nomad trying out a much different lifestyle. Splitting my time between hostels, hotels and Airbnb apartments in various Peruvian neighborhoods played a good part. Getting time to regroup and switch up neighborhoods and go back to community in hostels helped me connect with more travelers and residents.

Having a bar upstairs in a hostel is particularly helpful. I met a few people from Peru along with a Colombian doctor. Though I have connected with various people while walking around and hanging out, considerable time would pass without me finding people who in addition to the fun treks and sight-seeing, also wanted to relax with music and dancing. This second to last hostel was one answer. Some people naturally have a way of making me feel at home: In addition to these four local people, I clicked with an Italian traveler and her friends, leading us to another ideal club, where we could dance with each other and others from Peru. The scene reminded me that I had also connected with an American guy and Venezuelan expats similarly, about a month prior to this.

Once I started college and imitated the dance moves I saw in pop culture and improvised with my own, I recalled how I had likewise done so in my childhood. During those previously shy phases, I would simply dance alone in my room, in our basement or when I was home alone.

There seems to be some added meditative element. There also seems to be a release like a sigh of relief and joy complementing the expression. My dancing inhibitions also come and go. I can very much understand motivation being based on mood and other elements. My wavering confidence has the potential to reappear.

What strikes me now is appreciation for my recent dance partners. There is also cause to appreciate all the partners that came before whether we were in a club, home, dorm room, restaurant, open space outside, etc. I am more pleased now to think back over a lifetime of so many meeting of the minds under good beats, soothing rhythms, shared smiles and connections in a multitude of glances.

Today, We Leap

February 29, 2024 by Cassandra Johnson

I like how rare this is. We only get one leap day every four years, and I am reminded I have reignited the plunge I sparked in 2010. I am reminded I have the capacity to do what is unique and strange again. Like many friends (bus, train and flight-bound), I have been nervous along the way but as I noted: My expectations and inspiration far outweigh any doubt I easily identify as a potential obstacle growing into regret.

Everyday, I am reminded I am different in a country not my own. In the country that was my own, the difference began to meet rejection early on. Fair moments, revelations and acceptance could do their work, yet fall short of those experiences which shape our formative years.

Now abroad in Mexico, somehow, the difference seems more welcome, reminding me of affectionate conversations and quality time I had during Pisco Sin Fronteras (Pisco Without Borders). Looking very different from the other Westerners that went to Peru to volunteer then, I wanted to be a part of improving infrastructure after a natural disaster and be someone who shared experiences with people who worked along with us and could face the same judgments I could.

As I wrote of a new life that is healing to me, I sometimes feel like a casual liaison between home and new international places who can be friendly and say a lot or not much at all. I get to be a person who is free, friendly, pensive, outgoing and reserved.

I am consistently aware of how different I am. Only this time, the difference isn’t as daunting as having to be in a space where I could be instantly judged poorly on any micro or macro level or feel expected to represent a variety of people despite my own independent ideas and presence.

This time, being as different as I naturally am feels welcomed abroad by local people, new residents and other visitors like me. Affection and innocent curiosity is exchanged for the microscope (though this can still appear). The boxes to be fitted in don’t remain so close as they used to be. Many of us have already chosen something so left of the norm. Abnormal becomes the usual.

I know there is no perfection. I know both being welcomed and unwelcomed exist in all our spaces, but there is such a stark contrast between first worrying I could easily not find homes away from my native home yet managing to stumble upon comfort again and again.

made me do it

September 27, 2023 by Cassandra Johnson

Finding a home for my Cuban cigars was one thing. Giving away 1 end table out of 2 was another. Securing my virtual mailbox was just completed this morning and giving away my beloved bookcase is in progress.

There is still so much but spaces are clearing. My hope is growing and so is my uncertainty. I hope for the best but naturally I can’t squash the fear. I can fantasize about what is on the other side of picking up and traveling again but I can also feel my nerves taking over from time to time. The fear, the anxiety and the excitement have to live together for now. It’s helpful to know people are doing it and it’s being done all the time. Still, wish me luck and thanks for always cheering me on.

Now that I have started, I can’t stop.

I started in August this year. Likewise, I started back in 2010, played with some getaway moments. I dived in during the past but had more of a safety net to dive back into (but I do have to remind myself I was extremely nervous then as well). I have to remember how now that I have experienced it, I have a better picture of how to navigate new surroundings, happily. Yet, I also know how uncomfortable life can be when one is just getting their footing. Additionally, we know there can be some issues. There can be moments we don’t particularly care for and ones we absolutely dislike.

Sentimentality too. I really like DC (a reminder that this was another part of my fantasy life realized).  Hearing the musician on the metro platform last night particularly made me pre-nostalgic for my second home. I will miss that. I will miss a lot but as they say, you don’t know what you don’t know. There is even more to experience. I never could have imagined how much I would have fell for the landscape and culture of Peru, much like I fell for the nuances of DC. I can only imagine what a place looks to be like. How a space makes you feel is a whole other matter.

Like my previous somewhat dares, I am again more excited about the prospects than fearful of what I can’t even imagine discovering.

Now, I have started, I can’t stop. I can’t imagine.

Consider This

December 29, 2022 by Cassandra Johnson

I am entering decision time. I guess I should not renew my lease for another year. Foremost on my list would be living in Cusco. I would get to live in one of my favorite cities in one of my favorite countries, enjoy all the good food and lively atmosphere, celebrate and enjoy more relaxation.

The cost of living in Washington D.C. has proven itself to be among one of the highest. More so lately, I cannot help imagining how much easier I could live as a freelancer elsewhere, perhaps even in my own ideal paradise.

Still, I have thoroughly enjoyed the setting of D.C. and had longed to come here for the fusion of people and cultures, plus DC has the DMV aspect of very easily being able to cross between DC itself and parts of Maryland and Virginia. One can naturally work and live in or among one of the three.  

Times have shifted here, however. I do not feel all the same ease I previously felt, even as a mostly laid back soul who works on holding space for a lot of people. Maybe that can be attributed to all the tension across multi-governmental levels. I cannot be sure about that. Very much depending on the venue and crowd, from place to place, I feel some ease or a lot of ease and fun and in other bars, restaurants, museums, etc, there is more of a tension, feigning to be relaxed. Maybe, there is something to me being “the other” that I just do not get everywhere. For some reason, it seems to be more apparent now and the exact opposite feeling I loved getting everywhere by moving to a cosmopolitan area. Perhaps, it is definitely a sign to get away again for now or for much longer. Recall the expression “good vibes”. There really does seem to be something to feeling the energy in the room and the energy you get and give to other people. There is an overall energy you sense in the air and the ambience compounds your feelings.

I am thankful I have been reminded of an earlier goal and drive to not just work and hang out abroad but to consider living there as well. I immediately felt renewed when I started mapping it out (even just at seeing the vision) again. I saw myself in Cusco’s main square again. I saw the historical landmarks and architecture. I felt the music of the bars and clubs. I again tasted the good food at the Peruvian, European and American styled restaurants where I had appeased my appetite during my past stay and trek. Yes. The comforting and tantalizing tastes also filled my memories. So for longer-term peace of mind and enjoyable goals, I’m going to continue to work through the rest of the holiday season and determining savings for travels vs. bills vs cost of living. Where am I living and where am I going? A reset was clearly needed.