OCTOBER 19, 2019 BY CASSANDRA JOHNSON
I don’t really get crushes often though I see guys I definitely find very attractive in the DMV area (my current home that is the DC, Maryland, Virginia area ) but there was something about this guy I met a week ago that has my interest more than piqued. It’s cliché to say but again, clichés can be true to say or write so I’m going to go with it: There was just something about him.
He pulled up in his Mercedez Benz (and that’s not why – this is purely for description purposes) and he seemed so purposeful, self-assured, gentle and present, though it would turn out he had a lot going on. Yet, that added another nice dimension. His life reminded me of … well, mine right now. I’m learning my way into a new job at the same company and stepping fully into the overwhelm while eating my feelings as well😊 I felt it exactly last week during this work travel when my really good friend and I made the most out of those dessert portions of our meals. The difference between he and I, or so it seems, is that he was without the stress level. I have my job and other outside interests to which I am committed and I am fluctuating between the good type of surrender and feeling sometimes buried. (Still, I’m convinced it will all come together or apart in a good way.) I’m most right when I’m writing, translating, reading, volunteering and trading and I know it means gravitating towards what fuels me the best. The advice I’m getting is to let go of so-called everyday obligations and I will actually get more and more done.
The work trip ended, and I was waiting for this Uber comfort ride back to the airport from my hotel. Turns out this is a seasonal side job for my crush, and I noticed how well he listened and how deliberate his words were. We chatted and when he asked what I do, there was a space there that really took in my answers. It’s not that there is this negative thought that others are not listening nor that they don’t care, but there was a notable feeling of acceptance and acknowledgement in this moment that sometimes may get lost in conversations when we are anxious to share stories. I do it to others as well. It’s not intentional, but I believe, very human, in our efforts to express who we are and be heard. In this instance however, the wide space of being noticed was quite evident and with natural reciprocity, my focus was outward too. Nothing to prove. No room for misinterpretation. Rather just a willingness to share a more-than-surface conversation.
He may happen to visit this post along with other ones. I don’t mind. He asked if he could see the site and I welcome it too.😊
Image by David Mark on Pixabay.com