Cochabamba was about to be forever a part of my lexicon (though I have to admit I was unfamiliar with this city in Bolivia) but also how lightly she begins and rolls off the tongue. Leaving La Paz and Sucre, I had admittedly tucked an entire country away into a box. For shame.There was no love like my love of Peru until a couple days following the warm night I rolled into Cochabamba’s main bus station. Even getting to that terminal sparked my senses. Instantly I felt incredibly underdressed. After roughing my way a bit between the cities, there was a notable difference between me and the passersby. Though I had gained a real knack for cleaning up quite nicely in between physically demanding volunteer life, this area shouted modern city life and it didn’t hurt that the timing wasn’t all that far from Carnaval.
Cochabamba was another one of those completely unexpected circumstances in my South American plans. I can’t forget falling into a daily routine there (that could have continued so effortlessly for so much longer) and it’s almost a little scary to think I entertained the thought even for just a moment of not being able to stop there. Roads not taken and what not. I would have allowed a very important chapter to pass me by.
I promise as soon as my girl, Margaret knew I had reached this magical Bolivian city, she asked just why I couldn’t stay with her and her current roommate rather than anywhere else. Made sense. After all I was finally there and not quite there – at her place yet. Her “can’t you just stay here” in that genuinely hospitable British accent took me back to a myriad of sentiments, never to be erased.
What I had done was not taken for granted the ease with which I might be able to get to their part of the city from the bus station at night – planning mixed with a lack of planning on my part. I was left corresponding with her from the quaint hostel I had reserved just prior to arrival. Thankfully, I saw very little of it – save for a short night, followed by a brief stop back to retrieve my barely unpacked things). I would spend the rest of her subleasing time with her before we moved on. Leaving the hostel like hotel, I could see the remnants of the staff’s peculiar looks about me and/or my fleeting situation. Certain curious looks are just now something I’ve really come to appreciate😊. It probably means I’m on the right path.
My timing came together. I made it to the spacious apartment for Margaret’s birthday celebration, and it could have been my own😊. Reconnecting in Cochabamba also meant reconnecting with Juan de España/Spain and our American friend, Friedrich (all of us: PSF throwbacks). We were easily prepared to be as thick as thieves with mostly good and some daring intentions. Margaret and her roomie’s temporary subleased space was that of a Brazilian couple currently on holiday. Her birthday night was easy: Catching up. Cracking up. Dinner followed by dancing before our days would fall into the lovely routine of responsibilities laced with paradise.
Apologies for my first impression of Bolivia. I know well enough you cannot judge a whole place for one part of it. You can’t judge it by one city and you certainly can’t judge it by a couple of neighborhoods, but I did. Living volunteer life in Peru had become part of my core and I became unwittingly underwhelmed by my first two stops in its neighboring country. La Paz and Sucre didn’t stand much of chance though I took full advantage of intriguing touring opportunities, both official and personal which included the museums, the dinosaur footprints and my temporary local confectionery shop. Perhaps the experience back at customs still had me a little bit twisted.Add to that a few more blasé and curt interactions with shopkeepers and strangers here and there and I realized I had too much of a welcoming sought-after experience in Pisco and Cusco to settle for anything less.
However, I should especially note something at which I’m working on being better – something I need to remind myself of is not allowing pain to overshadow all that is positive. I started writing this a week ago because I was reminded of my lessons by a sweet encounter with an elderly lady following not so pleasant encounters with a few stressed out holiday shoppers. I was headed for the gym. I was feeling light on life but had to admit the unusual unreturned smiles, the vacant thank yous and nearly being walked into was getting under my skin.
I was moved by this elderly lady’s kiss on the cheek and hug due to my simple act of leading her to a store she could not find. I understood the difficulty. It was covertly located in the basement level of the nearby mall and I realized just simply pointing out the directions along with her limited mobility would most likely mean leaving her just as lost. It wasn’t much for me to slow down and walk a little way back to make sure it was in her sight. Her gratitude and compliments were unexpected – an endearing bonus. This is not about me but the truth is I see people doing courteous things and being friendly more often than not. Her energy demanded I set my ill feelings for the others aside.
Likewise, I remember instances like the sun warmly shining along
my path in safe surroundings in Sucre and La Paz. I remember good hospitality wherever
I stayed and as noted, I never minded stopping by that Sucre confection shop on
my walks back to my temporary place.
Times in Bolivia would get so much better. (I would battle tears when it was time to leave). Whereas the premiere cities had not piqued my interest, Cochabamba was waiting to get me completely turned around. Three of my former co-volunteer friends from Pisco had settled there for a bit and incidentally they were waiting for my visit. One was volunteering at a school in the outskirts. My primary goal was to arrive by her birthday. I would get there just in time.
By winter of 2011, my 183-day volunteer visa in Peru was about to be a wrap and Bolivia was already on my radar as my means to stay longer. (I revisit then with promises of returning to South America soon). I had preplanned my Bolivian journey to some extent. I would need to reset my time in Peru and knew I could do so by visiting this neighboring country. At the same time, my visit would also fulfil some curiosities. My ex (not boyfriend but in the sense of dating someone/trying to make it work) is from there and like Peru, it has the intriguing precolonial history that merges with the modern and remains beautifully present today in the people and the landscape. It’s defiantly brilliant, almost feigning to be coopted by tourism.
Back then, my reasons became more personal after my South American life began. Three of my former co-volunteers from Pisco were now already in Cochabamba, Bolivia and I would find myself gingerly, happily making my way there following my start in the capital of La Paz and adventuring through Sucre. The intent was to get to Cochabamba by one of their up and coming birthdays. I would make it just in time, though with a major blood clot in my leg. It was a condition I had mistakenly deemed a charley horse, aka cramp that didn’t know when to stop. A kind Cochabamban doctor eventually resolved this mystery for me.
I went from Pisco to Arequipa to Cusco. Getting the best in-country tips (before leaving one country) for the best bus companies, I thought I was ready. I was on my way and for a minor moment I thought I wouldn’t have to pay the customary fee for US citizens to enter Bolivia. (The practice was mutual). I wasn’t sure exactly how they were going to charge me. Taking the buses between cities and now countries (instead of flying) seemed so casual to the point I thought I might just roll into La Paz sans the fee. However, when I walked down the bus aisle, continuing all the way to the back, slowly realizing my seat number did not exist, I knew something had to be up. Perhaps this was not something being up in a bad way but rather a reminder to them I was a US citizen. Random to write, I ended up sitting in the passenger side next to the bus driver. The sun was better than any seat warmer I’ve ever enjoyed and I had the added bonus of getting the panoramic scenery of Peru behind me and Bolivia ahead of me – this was more than I could have taken in from the peripheral of a regular seat. This was an effortless picture painting itself out in front of me. I was doing the least (versus the popular expression of “doing the most”). The only other person with this view had to focus on the road. Joke was on them.
We made it to the immigration area, and I was becoming quite
jealous of the other travelers having less to do but knew this was more about international
government relations rather than personal reasons. I just wanted to be done already
and back en route. I had opted for a cute hotel in La Paz and my bed was
waiting to be rested in so I could later explore. I remember walking up a steep
incline from the bus to the customs offices and feeling my duffel bag beginning
to grind into my shoulder. It was also getting to weigh about a ton. I
exaggerate though I did start to question my fortitude. Ultimately, I was reminded
how adaptable and capable us humans can be.
Unfortunately, I had made the mistake of leaving my Andean migrations card in Pisco, Peru. I had my passport – I needed both. I really thought I lost the card. I would end up finding it much later as I had purposely left my large suitcase at PSF headquarterswhile I continued backpacking and volunteering around the two countries. Some of my former co-volunteers had graciously made a space for the unneeded items until my return. They were still working on earthquake recovery in the small city. Yet, in all that gear lurked the Andean card I needed to present at customs.
I immediately discovered my mistake would fit in just one category. This would be immigration fraud, according to one officer and a couple of nearby signs. The signs warned anybody attempting immigration fraud would be fined. Consequently, I had a very awkward though fluent conversation (in Spanish) with the security officer who continually asked me what I wanted to do. What did I plan to do?
Well, I had taken the signs to heart and thinking I had no other choice, I planned to settle for the “immigration fraud route” and pay my fine in addition to the US citizen entry fee. As noted earlier, I wanted to be on my way. I responded there were no other options to his repetitive questions. I would have to pay. His last notable reply: “Well, there are other options”. Suddenly, I had the image of myself throwing bolivianos (money) his way as I headed in the opposite direction. (Bolivianos = the Bolivian currency, and interestingly denotes the citizens as well). I had very little interest in “other options” and less and less desire to be hanging out at this border crossing. I fortunately was able to move forward with paying just the fine referenced on the signs and the US entry fee. It wasn’t so important to prove I had done nothing intentionally fraudulent as it was for me to get to the other side. I would never be so intentional…until years later when I’d agreed to go to Cuba😊.
My “riskysafe” more so speaks to daring myself to be light and adventurous. Reflecting back to the moment at Bolivian customs is surreal. I had faith I would be okay though it was still unsettling. There have been a few situations as recent as previewing a beach in Old San Juan without my new companions with whom I later ventured back. It was another fleeting yet too extended moment where an individual had preluded to some not-so-safe outcomes for me. I know others who can relate. Notably, my life in the States, as a native has not come without some unexpected risks as well. We have to be vigilant for ourselves and each other.
Fortunately, while traveling, these moments have been minimal and more often materialized when the sun is shining down around me in virtual paradise while I’m surrounded by good spirits, both local and foreign. It helps me to be brave yet cognizant of ways to practice safety. I’m also reminded there are so many more random positive situations. The smallest and grandest gestures are undeniable. A quick question like which number bus goes to Loiza Street in Puerto Rico and I found locals looking out for my new friends and me.
I see people look out for you not to be lost in their various cultures and traditions. They look out for you to share the space and enjoy your time. There’s suddenly an extra setting for you whenever it’s dinner time. People thank you for coming all this way to help when you feel like you have done just a little. People find a place for you to lay your head when it’s gotten too late or expertly get you back to your dwelling. People smile deeply from ear to ear – just glad you came – just glad you’re there. It’s a reflection of you – grinning back. Turns out, corruption ain’t got much of anything on moments like these.
Before my current travels, I left you with a taste of or rather a lot of my life in the desert of Peru. I shared heading a bit further to Arequipa and Cusco, and especially Machu Picchu. Well, back then, a younger me had decided before my 183-day stay was up, I needed to follow the best advice I knew on how to extend my time in Peru. I knew in order to continue or rather stay again; I would need to leave. I would need to leave the country and reenter it to reset my time. I had planned ahead, at least mentally and although it would cost me some bolivianos (as a US citizen), I knew Bolivia was my next abbreviated stop. I selected it for various reasons before I left the US for South America and for some additional ones once I was there.
People especially get to worrying about you when you’re away in a land foreign from the one you share with them and I imagine there was some relief knowing I was around new friends in various spots. Yet, still, there is a sense of imagining you alone, because truly you are apart from the foundation of the familiarity you shared with them and though you can feel complete on some days, this is also what can feed into your own homesickness and loneliness.
God rest my mother’s beautiful soul. She was no longer with us when I first ventured away from the States. This was only to Canada but knowing how much she worried about my father and each of my brothers, even for example, when I was two hours away at school or even when we were out longer than expected, this would have been a lot for her. Knowing her history, before I was here, I understood it to be linked to her childhood and losing her mother. My heart is warmed and twisted further still realizing that while we may mistakenly think dads not remembering the specifics of crushes, current best friend’s names, or who sits behind you in 5th period science means their nerves are made of more steel, this is not necessarily the truth. My dad was a traveler before my parents met and married, but I found him to be just as worried in his own way – at the same time excited for me – at the same time relieved when my feet were back on Washington DC soil followed by a visit to Ohio. I can’t help but miss all the unique things he would have to say to us in the most unique ways.
Actually, I have to now be perfectly honest with you. This post took a turn. I was ready to share how I entered La Paz, Bolivia. However, I’m holding space for my parents now… for our parents… a moment of recognition for hard work instilled in us, for compassion, for the ability to grow and for gratitude. I look forward to sharing again and I don’t even know what comes next (though I kinda think I do) but I’m happy to have a space to create and express and share and be thankful. Thank you.
Unfortunately, in Puerto Rico, the coordinator of my specific
project was not feeling well, but I was pleased they found a spot for me the
next day. This allowed me to do some light organizing in the overall project’s office
and get a vacation I didn’t realize I needed. At the same time, I had the
chance to connect with folks, (volunteering, working, or traveling through) who
reaffirmed a lot of the things that make me smile the most.
Another new volunteer for the week and I received our orientation on Monday and since it was a holiday, our volunteer lead in Puerto Rico came to the hostel to take us to our project site and then on to Old San Juan for touring. Us IVHQnewbies (yet respectively seasoned volunteers) both agreed we didn’t need to get out at the building at which we’d be returning the next day, but rather the Uber driver could continue on to the next spot in Old San Juan. (Funny, because we would still get a little lost the next day😊)
In and around San Juan – home and back
Leaving the Uber, (we weren’t able to get the bus on Monday, other days proved more successful), we stopped to sight see – we were taken to one of the famous old Spanish forts. The nice fusion of being an IVHQ volunteer: getting to know the people and experience the culture of an area in different aspects and getting to help in a variety of ways.
I turned up in San Juan on a Sunday afternoon when there was no running water. Pure coincidence and it made me oddly nostalgic for the days we ran out of water in Pisco, Peru. There I would have helped get a few buckets from the ocean for temporary-around-the-house-use… maybe… well okay I did that once – but after a long day of toiling away on other projects, I may have simply been thankful to the ones who did gather our water together😊 on those various other days (while I was quite focused on dinner. 😊 (By the way, the water in San Juan was back the next day.)
The driver, from my organization, IVHQ (International Volunteer Headquarters),
met me at San Juan International airport on November 10th and he was
quite interesting to chat with, giving me a rundown on the neighborhood in
which I’d be staying. You may have read my post, Organize Me, in which
I was very grateful to IVHQ for getting my details squared away. I helped
– but mostly when it came to volunteer placement, lodging, sight-seeing options
and intel, they took care of it – at a time when I was inundated with my daytime
job, my side hustle and non-side hustle activities. For this reason, however, I
did not exactly research where I would be living.
I was in for a pleasant surprise, opening me up to more spontaneity, hence my reference in a Time to Think about being more aware of when you’re in alignment, when you’re not necessarily forcing but rather flowing forward. As Oprah and others tell me in The Path Made Clear, things become serendipitous and synchronistic when you move towards what is calling or (or let’s be real, when you do what the hell you want in the most positive way, doing right by others and yourself and following the mutually inclusive golden rule) That was what was so nice about being in Puerto Rico in November, returning to Pisco this past February, and being in Pisco for the first time almost 10 years ago. It’s impossible to get everything right, but so worth the effort and God love the imperfections.
Unlike the communal lodging inPSF that housed about 40 to 110 volunteers at a time (which was perfectly holistic for then), my driver was escorting me into a hostel with a mix of travelers, volunteers and visitors that would enhance my week-long volunteer getaway. I didn’t realize how much I would be getting back as well. The hostel was high level (I’ve stayed in many hostels before and Nomada (pictured above) was precious, cozy and at the same time spacious. They thought of everything. I was on my top bunk one night, realizing I didn’t have to want for anything. There was the personal lighting, charging stations, there was the rooftop, with a view of the ocean we visited several times, there was the so cute eclectic communal areas, respectively equipped with bars and ultimately there was the staff who ensured we were in the know when it came to which places we should venture to on any particular day or night. Well organized and beyond nice.
I’m happy IVHQ partnered with them in this way for PR and I was there at just the right time to add the right people to my list of kindred spirits. Like Peru, I had the pleasure of meeting travelers who I suspect rep their respective homelands the best and though we differ in cultures, we always find we have so many cool things in common – that’s especially for Canada, Holland, France and Germany. Good times. I was gifted once again on my last day when my very good friend from DC joined me there. Having home when you’re away is always nice, especially when he is helping you paint the town as red as it can get before your 2:01 a.m. flight. Thanks to him so much, for spending some of my accidental vacation time with me. (The week away was a coincidentally welcome needed adventure, rest and chance to help out).
Thus far, I wouldn’t trade any of my experiences for the world. I’m dazzled by the thought there may be more to come. I’m kinda extremely fortunate, whether I’m around the world with good folks with good vibes, here in DC with local friends, in Ohio with hilarious loving brothers más my nephew or in all the cities I hope to see next.
Now that I’m pretend caught up with my work (salaried, that
is), I’m noting just how long overdue my post here is. I appreciate your visit
and the chance to share again and most notably I am realizing I have some
actual time to think.
Puerto Rico was exactly where I needed to be a couple weeks ago and a sure sign of the difference in being in alignment with your purpose and being where I am now. I’ve touched on when I’ve been most in harmony and though I know enough to get by in not so congruent circumstances, I am most assuredly leaning towards my new newness. I have some purpose and I don’t want to keep you or me waiting.
My next volunteer trip is calling me back to Puerto Rico – that is – following the one I am taking in November. I thought I might want to keep things varied and share my path along varied routes, but I am leaning towards revisiting and volunteering in Puerto Rico again with another organization. IVHQ sounds lovely and I’m looking forward to it. Still I’m curious about Helping Hands as well.
I thought I would travel various routes to volunteer, and later return to past places (as I did with Pisco), but I am just following my intuition now to help out with disaster relief and sustainable development.
We shall see exactly what I think of or realize next. PSF was amazing and I don’t expect to ever replace it, but as I grow into new roles and a new lifestyle, we shall see. I dare invite you always to check out some places I’ve been (since I can speak to them personally) and anywhere you think of – feel free to invite me as well. I think we’ve reached a new chapter in which folks are more and more conscious of all the small and big effects we have on each other and the environment everywhere.
Right now, I’m planning on two weeks in February. This will end with my birthday week and like Returning to Pisco, it will be gift to me to be around people with the know-how to move past every obstacle.
(I promised myself that I would share a post as soon as I got back from my San Diego work trip. Forgive me if it is a little raw – I began it before I left and keeping it true to form to what my heart was telling my mind at the time, I’m only adding a little more. It’s incredibly short but I’m also here to just say hello, from time to time, as well.)
To be perfectly clear, writing here gets me clear. When I
pretend to myself that I’m not exactly sure of what I want to do next, I am
most honest when I come to write and share with you all here. I’m more honest
about what I would truly like to be doing, where I would truly like to be.
All the people who inspire and support me get me closer to inspiring myself. I know that is everyone reading right now and the thought leaders I follow. I can let go of the reins of everyday life’s societal induced goals and have an honest conversation with myself about what really matters. I can do this instead of working my mind around to fitting the “acceptable goals” of the 9 to 5 life followed by supposedly aspiring retirement ones. I can do this without getting sidetracked with the worry of some folks thinking I’ve gone off the deep end. I can laugh and hope this is exactly where some do think I have gone.
Recalling that I’m going to wake up with myself every day as
along I am blessed to do so, I can be as cheeky as I want here, believing in my
way and others’ righteous ways as well. There is not just one way to be and the
goal (as Oprah says) is to get closer to being ourselves every day.
I can put myself out there with every moment that passes, be
scared, hold back and then find myself drawn to experimenting with life’s
safety limits again. It’s interestingly fulfilling to be dissatisfied with the
status quo and I hope to have you join me one day in person (volunteer with
me) or I hope to meet you viaemail, post, phone,
Skype, WhatsApp, Facebook, LinkedIn or Instagram. I hope the
path gets even clearer as we get more real and do more of the right things for
ourselves and others.
I don’t really get crushes often though I see guys I definitely find very attractive in the DMV area (my current home that is the DC, Maryland, Virginia area ) but there was something about this guy I met a week ago that has my interest more than piqued. It’s cliché to say but again, clichés can be true to say or write so I’m going to go with it: There was just something about him.
He pulled up in his Mercedez Benz (and that’s not why – this is purely for description purposes) and he seemed so purposeful, self-assured, gentle and present, though it would turn out he had a lot going on. Yet, that added another nice dimension. His life reminded me of … well, mine right now. I’m learning my way into a new job at the same company and stepping fully into the overwhelm while eating my feelings as well😊 I felt it exactly last week during this work travel when my really good friend and I made the most out of those dessert portions of our meals. The difference between he and I, or so it seems, is that he was without the stress level. I have my job and other outside interests to which I am committed and I am fluctuating between the good type of surrenderand feeling sometimes buried. (Still, I’m convinced it will all come together or apart in a good way.) I’m most right when I’m writing, translating, reading, volunteering andtradingand I know it means gravitating towards what fuels me the best. The advice I’m getting is to let go of so-called everyday obligations and I will actually get more and more done.
The work trip ended, and I was waiting for this Uber comfort ride back to the airport from my hotel. Turns out this is a seasonal side job for my crush, and I noticed how well he listened and how deliberate his words were. We chatted and when he asked what I do, there was a space there that really took in my answers. It’s not that there is this negative thought that others are not listening nor that they don’t care, but there was a notable feeling of acceptance and acknowledgement in this moment that sometimes may get lost in conversations when we are anxious to share stories. I do it to others as well. It’s not intentional, but I believe, very human, in our efforts to express who we are and be heard. In this instance however, the wide space of being noticed was quite evident and with natural reciprocity, my focus was outward too. Nothing to prove. No room for misinterpretation. Rather just a willingness to share a more-than-surface conversation.
He may happen to visit this post along with other ones. I don’t
mind. He asked if he could see the site and I welcome it too.😊
