May 31, 2023 by Cassandra Johnson
How much of our outlook is adapted to outside influences? When we are competent at our jobs, and skillful at our passions, how much do we enjoy or appreciate it based on ourselves? Based on the outlook and acceptance of others? When do we appreciate praise yet know for ourselves that we can celebrate ourselves too?
This is a reminder for those people who, like me, enjoy a compliment, enjoy an achievement or a unique trait or hobby about themselves but pretty quickly think about how relatable we are to others. Naturally, we need community and acceptance, but I am sure we have been notably shaped by those first and repeated times when we were faced with disapproval. Getting messages and implications in our everyday encounters and beyond did not help us feel forever comfortable in our skin and certainly not with our interests.
I know we have all had chapters, perhaps in different surroundings and with different groups of core people with whom to socialize. What I think about mostly now is how even when our environments change, even when conversations change, and we move in and out of social circles (sometimes quite literally), we have to remember ourselves.
Seeing how the outside changes, (you may feel this too), I sometimes see myself give a little more importance to how I am perceived rather than what I still really enjoy about my personality and my attributes. We have to remember ourselves and like I noted in That Nothing is Better Than Something, we have to be aware of what we really want. Checking in is reaffirming and a true piece to how I am better achieving my goals.
The gloomy days can go ahead and come, but I rebound a lot better when I know more about what I like, what I want and what my real personality is, including the “weirdness”.
Ironically, the more comfortable I am with expressing my interests or being okay with just being quiet taking in other people’s experiences and how they express themselves, I meet so many more kindred spirits.
I sometimes forget to stop and appreciate a lot of how unique I am while I can appreciate other people’s tastes, forgetting those hairstyles I created, that joke I landed, those awkward mistakes I made… Maybe you also more easily recognize in others what you may dismiss in yourself.
Nice how much they know about that sport or game…, how interestingly he sings, dances… tells a story… That person is good at taking notes. This person finds the cutest matching clashing outfits. Of course, the list goes on, intricate as we are.
As I walk that a step further, I know the importance of remembering how good we are and how flexible we can be as people. We can do more. We do not have to settle on one preference or another. We can be good or attempt to become good at something. We can live our lives and we are definitely okay to simply celebrate how unique we are.
